Women Warriors

[XRogue]

Take all American women who are within five years of menopause - train us for a few weeks, outfit us with automatic weapons, grenades, gas masks, moisturizer with SPF15, Prozac, hormones, chocolate, and canned tuna - drop us (parachuted, preferably) across the landscape of Afghanistan, and let us do what comes naturally.

Think about it. Our anger quotient alone, even when
doing standard stuff like grocery shopping and paying bills, is formidable enough to make even armed men in turbans tremble.

We've had our children, we would gladly suffer or die
to protect them and their future. We'd like to get away from our
husbands, if they haven't left already. And for those of us who are
single, the prospect of finding a good man with whom to share life is about as likely as being struck by lightning. We have nothing to lose.

We've survived the water diet, the protein diet, the carbohydrate diet, and the grapefruit diet in gyms and saunas across America and never lost a pound. We can easily survive months in the
hostile terrain of Afghanistan with no food at all!

We've spent years tracking down our husbands or lovers in bars, hardware stores, or sporting events...finding bin Laden in some cave will be no problem.

Uniting all the warring tribes of Afghanistan in a new government? Oh, please ... we've planned the seating arrangements for in-laws and extended families at Thanksgiving dinners for years ... we understand tribal warfare.

Between us, we've divorced enough husbands to know
every trick there is for how they hide, launder, or cover up bank accounts and money sources. We know how to find that money and we know how to seize it ... with or without the government's help!

Let us go and fight. The Taliban hates women. Imagine their terror as we crawl like ants with hot-flashes over their
godforsaken terrain. I'm going to write my Congresswoman. You should, too!

[Ghryphen]

Hehe, the tennant next door got kicked out the other week. He is from the middle east, he had big problems with a manager of the building who bought the building after he started his lease, and who is also a woman. He came back the next day and they argued in front of our office and she came in to our office to take cover. He came the day after that to do the walk through and the manager had an officer here to police it. The funny (and fitting) thing was, the officer was a woman

[XRogue]

Fair enough, by my lights. Did the manager specifically ASK for a female cop or was that a coinky-dink?

[Ghryphen]

Hehe, I dont know if she did or not. My boss just walked by my door and said that is was fitting that it be a woman cop. So I peeked out the window and saw the officer standing there and chuckled

[Spinning Hat]

need to teach some of those "gentlemen" (and I use the term very looslely) that here in the US, Women have just as many rights as men, and that they are equal.

[Stang]

You know the scary thing is that is so true.

Yeah men that come over here think that its still that way here but HELL NO, be careful over here the women can beat your ass or even worse...Do a Lorianna Bobbit .

[XRogue]

Indeed. Did I tell you I recently heard those bourka things referred to as "Cousin Itt outfits"? I thought that was funny, but not so funny as the lady cop.