Not really a bitch, moan, or gripe. But...

[XMEN Ashaman DTM]

I was wondering what people thought about those that have nice clothes, cars, places to live, etc.

I work in Bellevue/Kirkland (where a lot of rich people live, and wannabe rich people live). Basically, it's the whole "east side" as it's called around here that has the rich guys. It's just across Lake Washington, east of Seattle.

Anyways, I see a lot of people in their twenties and thirties with nice cars, nice clothes, and nice homes. They all have cars like BMW's, Audi's, Benzes, and so on. I even saw a hummer. They also have the whole "black leather jacket" look going. All of these things are pretty expensive. And in my view, they are flaunting their money.

Now, I lean along the lines of capitalism and can respect someone working hard to make money. The actual display of wealth is what seems to be bugging me. I guess it could come from the fact that all of my life, I have never had much money. Nor have my parents. (In fact, I can remember times when there was only a loaf of bread to eat for the week.) I never had those "nice" things in highschool, or in college.

Yet I go to work each day on the bus, and look at people driving around. They all have that expensive look about them.

I'm also planning on moving closer to where I work, so that I don't have the damn 4 hour commute every day. I'll be living amongst these people who I view as flaunting their wealth.

I don't think I'm taking personally the fact that others have more money than me. It's just that it's so sad. I joke with my boss (who lives in Kirkland) about the people that live where he lives. The women are all nice looking, but you try and talk to most of them and their eyes glaze over when you say anything more complex than the word "the". The guys all look alike. They all have the black leather jackets, black or beige pants, and usually a white shirt. You talk to most of them and it's like, "I have 3% body fat, make six figures, and own several ferarri's. How about you?" (Okay, maybe a teensy bit of exaggeration there.)

I guess I'm kind of feeling like the odd man out. That's something that's new to me. For the most part (except around the time my grandpa died), I never really cared what other people thought about me, how I looked, how I acted, or what I said.

Also, I was talking to a friend of mine, and he said that if I live in that area I'm going to have to make some changes to interact with those people. I heard a similar thing from another friend of mine who said that she wants to take me clothes shopping to have a more refined look. Whatever that means...
But, I feel that if I do that, I'll be giving up a little part of myself. I've always had a sort of contempt for people that seemed like snobs, and I'd hate to think that way about myself.

I'm thinking that if I hear the words "those people" in reference to someone that lives on the street, or even in reference to someone that I could identify with economically, that I'll either tell them to F' off, or walk away. I can't say that I've run into that attitude recently, but I just got a feeling.


Well, what do you guys (and gals) think?

[XMEN Ashaman DTM]

Oh, I guess another question would be:

Can someone be a little "refined", but not be a snob?

And what does "refined" mean? (I know the dictionary meaning, but that doesn't really help.)

[Spinning Hat]

Yeah, people can be 'refined' and not be snobs. It's called having class. Generally, refined is used when talking about people who are 'cultured', the upper middle-class who think they have class, but really are nothing but lower middle-class snobs.
Now, it is posible to to look nice, and not have to be a snob, and people will still think of you as 'refined'. But I don't think that anyone should have to change the way they dress to be able to live in a certain area, or to interact with other people. And the whole flaunting their money thing- I think a lot of people are still competeing with the Joneses. If you look around, you'll see a lot of people with nice cars and nice homes, but just think: A lot of those people are paying $1500-$2000 mortgage payments. For what? So they can say they live in Kirkland? That doesn't make a person who they are. Do those people think it's a contest to see how many Loans they can have at one time? 2 cars, the mortgage, new boat, etc, etc....

I have to admit tho, that I do want a nice house, and a couple new cars. I'm sick and tired of fixing the 2 I do have every month. Once my hands heal from one episode, I have to go and fix something else, and over, and over... I'm sick of it. It used to be fun to do it, now I hate it. But I don't have the cash nor the credit to afford even one nice car for my wife let alone for me too. But, I know one day, things will be better. With my wife graduating this spring, and me hopefully finishing next spring, that will be 2 big steps in the right direction.

[Aluscia]

Don't worry Asha! I'm the most unrefined person I know, and I live in one of the Burlington ghettos (if such a thing is possible in a bedroom city). The only way you can be 'refined' and not be a snob is to not sell out. Don't buy one of those leather jackets. Buy a useful, critically acclaimed Ford, or a Chrysler, or something.. Don't ever think that you'll be the odd one out because you're not giving into the stampede. I also went to a High school where girls got SUV's for their 17th birthdays, and the guys had more than $500 worth of clothes and accesories on half of the time. You know what I went to school in? Value Village slacks and T's... if it was cold, I'd either put 2 T-shirts on, or I'd wear one of my 2 sweaters.

What I'm trying to say here is, don't change the external 'style' unless your internal 'style' has changed to match it. That is, unless you feel like becoming a snob, don't dress like it.

Lastly, refined is all in the eye of the beholder. My image of refined is a dude with really short hair, goatee, Dockers khakis, a coloured dress shirt (something nice like blue or purple), nice shoes, trench coat. I don't, however, think any less of someone who's decked out in full business suit, or someone who's wearing torn jeans and a Rock Band t-shirt from 10 years ago (I have enough of those kicking around ) So my point is, walk the walk. Don't worry about how you look. If you act respectfully and kindly, people will see that in you

[Ghryphen]

Well I see some people around here that have nice cars that are definitely trying to "show off". But then there are those who just like a nice car. My dad got a Cadillac recently and I love it, I would get one if I could and not to be a snob, but because the options and the ride are so awesome. I drive a Cougar which is about the same size and build as it, yet the comfort difference is so vast.

But then there are those woman with sunglasses on, a cigarette and are talking on the cell phone while driving around in 50 degree weather with the top down on her BMW, "snobs!"

Hopefully I will make enough money to be able to get nice cars and a nice house and fun toys like boats and such.


* Where are you working Asha? Toward Kirkland?

[XMEN Ashaman DTM]

I work a couple of blocks from where 520 meets Lk. Washington Blvd. Maybe a half mile from where 520 and 405 meet. If you take Bellevue Way, north from Bellevue, it turns into Lk. Washington Blvd. There's this sign that says something like, "Welcome to Kirkland" after you pass over 520.

I've eaten lunch a few times in downtown Kirkland... a good portion of the people there seem like snobs. I can respect those that just want a nice car and stuff, but there's a difference between that and what I'm talking about.

[Stang]

Oh we know what you mean Asha we seem them all the time down there and when you walk around the Bellevue Mall. But you can defintally tell who the snobs are.

I think everyone wonders this once or a few times in there life. I think we want that lifestyle but hopefully wont go the ways they went. I know I feel that way and I think its because I like most of us here didnt grow up in that type of lifestyle, we werent as "blessed" as they were.

As far as changing dont do it unless YOU feel you do or want to, dont change for others cuz in the end it wont work. I wanted to change all thru high school and after but then realized 'wth" Im trying to live up to their standards when I should be living for myself. So I do what I want to do and what makes me happy. Live your life the way YOU want to not the way others think you should live.

We all want better things for us and there is nothing wrong with that. Its how you represent yourself that changes how people look at you.

Laurelin said it right on .

[Cerberus]

I see those people and usually just say "enh, **** em."

[XMEN Ashaman DTM]

I planned on living the way that I want to.

It's just that I see myself being around all these rich bastards and either not getting along with them or consistently getting snubbed when I try to talk with them.

[Ghryphen]

[Aluscia]

No... I think at first that may happen, but what will ultimately happen is that they will try to use you. Rich people are rarely content with what they have... they always seek out ways to expand what they own. Just be careful, Asha... Even being yourself, don't think that a little kindness on their part is a move towards reason.

[Cerberus]

[Spinning Hat]

I got something for them there snobs....

[XMEN Ashaman DTM]

Just an FYI...

I talked with a couple that I met at a restaurant, and they said that Kirkland is all snobby when you get in town, but if you move out away from town, and farther north, you get away from all that. Besides, those people that are all like that are the rich MicroSoft geeks trying to look cool.

That's what they said... they were an older couple too. Not that their age should matter, but they said they had lived in Kirkland for a long time.

[Spinning Hat]

It's nice that you met some people that can put some perspective on your situation... Move North yong man! Move North!