Dating Sucks

DeLukas · 11-04-2003, 08:46 AM

I forgot about this place. I think I could just bitch forever!

Anyway, So my beef with the world is that I can't manage to find/keep a girlfriend. I kind of think this is related to the fact the I had planned to marry my high school sweet heart (Got engaged last December, she sent me back the ring in February. I am still not totally sure why. Though over this past year, do to things she has said in the few times we have talked, I come to suspect her friend Pete had something to do with it.)

So, anyway, I reapplied to a bunch of schools, because I really did not want to go to school near her. About that time I hooked up with a sweet girl (I though she was sweet at the time) but she was moving to Colorado (see location<--). So, I looked at the schools up in that area and CSU was better then the other places I was looking at going. So, I applied and got in. I move up to Colorado and get dumped, because I was too close. Seems 4 hours away is too close for some relationships.

So that leaves me in my current state. I’ve been having a good time playing the field, but that’s not really what I want. To top that off, my first girlfriend and I were together for 5 (6?) years! Like I know anything about how to start up a relationship. Grrrrrrr!

Maz · 11-04-2003, 09:13 AM

I feel ya, I was in a 4 year relationship trougth HS and college, and then we broke up, now eveything sucks, I never realised how boring weekends are

XMEN Ashaman DTM · 11-04-2003, 11:10 AM

Heh.

Some advice from a guy that was single for quite a long while:

don't put all your hopes on one girl. Believe it or not, going out with several girls during the same week is good for you. It really makes you look at all of the girls and see how they differ.

don't necessarily go for the hottest girl in the room. She's getting hit on constantly, and will probably have her defenses up. Go for one of the others that caught your eye.

saying 'hi' is the best "pickup line" you can use. The big thing with dating is quantity. If one girl plays games with you, or doesn't treat you well right away, she doesn't respect you. Move on as quick as you can. Don't EVER second guess yourself... if something isn't right, move on.

don't be so picky that you move on from every single girl. you'll end up like George on Seinfeld: he found fault with EVERY single woman he dated. He also ended up in his thirties with not even a girlfriend. Just think about if the fault is something you could accept. My current girlfriend talks loudly... which is something that my sister does and it annoys me. But at the same time, I can work with it. Different things for different guys. Just don't make the mistake of ruling out a woman for the smallest fault.
(Remember, that you are not perfect either.)

If you come across a beautiful woman and you start to get nervous, remember the silver rule: EVERYONE POOPS!

Get out and meet people. Doesn't matter if they are guys or girls. Meet a lot of people. If meeting people isn't your thing, visit a grocery store a lot. You meet a LOT of interesting people at those places. And sometimes, the women approach you... I got asked out after a woman and I were discussing cucumbers and she noted how phallic they are. I laughed and we went out a few times.

When seeing several people, do NOT tell the women that you are seeing other people. This should be common sense. Only after you've had "the talk" about a monogamous relationship should you consider her your girlfriend. Let the woman bring this up.

And another silver rule for guys in general: NEVER EVER come off desparate. This would include things like hanging out with her ALL THE TIME; or saying how much you love her when you first meet her (never say that until after you've had the talk, and she's stated how she feels first). Or anything else along those lines (I hope those lines were made clear). DON'T FALL IN LOVE WITH HER FIRST! If you do, 9 times out of 10 she'll sense it and consider you desparate... it makes women feel gross. They don't like the feeling of being stalked or pressured or anything like that. And if they do, then you had better move on because they are messed up.

Do things that you enjoy... preferably things that involve other people so you have opportunity to meet new people. You'll feel better about yourself and have opportunity. Women like men that feel good about themselves. Don't take a cynical view of the world... the world becomes a depressing, colorless wasteland if you are cynical.

Keep trying to meet new people. School is an excellent place to do that. You don't have to party or anything, but I recommend at least going to some parties.

XMEN Ashaman DTM · 11-04-2003, 11:12 AM

And if you are going to complain about things... use this forum.

I know you may not be looking for advice now... but keep what I said in mind in the future.

Maz · 11-04-2003, 12:33 PM

good advice

DeLukas · 11-04-2003, 02:11 PM

and starting tomorrow night I will try to follow it

Stang · 11-04-2003, 04:56 PM

Woohoo! Tell us how it went

. We will help you so you dont mess up anymore

.

Just be yourself dont act like a different person that your not. We hate that too.

Maz · 11-05-2003, 05:47 AM

Quote:

Just be yourself dont act like a different person that your not.

true

yak · 11-10-2003, 08:33 AM

whether or not you want to listen to me, i only really have two rules.
1. dont try to change yourself to fit their needs
and
2. be honest from the start of the relationship

Stang · 11-10-2003, 11:36 AM

Like I said

. It must sound "right" coming from a mans mouth

.

Maz · 11-11-2003, 05:51 AM

PrincessAmy · 11-11-2003, 06:52 AM

I say, just find what makes you happy in life(you know like everyone says 'find yourself') and don't really try to find 'the right one', and before you know it...she/he will be sitting right infront of you.

Stang · 11-11-2003, 11:18 AM

Exactly

DeLukas · 11-11-2003, 12:08 PM

Hmmm. . . .seems like I'm a great person to say up with all night talking to about problems. . .but going on a date with. . .no way.

I think a simple picture explains everything:

<img src=http://suzanneh.com/1/picture_dictionary_food/lollypop.jpg>

Stang · 11-12-2003, 11:21 AM

Well at least you know where you stand with that person and can move on to find that other person you want a love connection with. You will find that special person Delukas dont rush it. Dont want to make a mistake down the road. Just have a good time for now and it will all fall into place.

11-04-2003, 08:46 AM	#1
DeLukas Forum Regular Join Date: May 2001 Location: Fort Collins, CO, USA Age: 44 Posts: 323	Dating Sucks I forgot about this place. I think I could just bitch forever! Anyway, So my beef with the world is that I can't manage to find/keep a girlfriend. I kind of think this is related to the fact the I had planned to marry my high school sweet heart (Got engaged last December, she sent me back the ring in February. I am still not totally sure why. Though over this past year, do to things she has said in the few times we have talked, I come to suspect her friend Pete had something to do with it.) So, anyway, I reapplied to a bunch of schools, because I really did not want to go to school near her. About that time I hooked up with a sweet girl (I though she was sweet at the time) but she was moving to Colorado (see location<--). So, I looked at the schools up in that area and CSU was better then the other places I was looking at going. So, I applied and got in. I move up to Colorado and get dumped, because I was too close. Seems 4 hours away is too close for some relationships. So that leaves me in my current state. I’ve been having a good time playing the field, but that’s not really what I want. To top that off, my first girlfriend and I were together for 5 (6?) years! Like I know anything about how to start up a relationship. Grrrrrrr! __________________ Last edited by DeLukas; 11-04-2003 at 08:48 AM.

11-04-2003, 09:13 AM	#2
Maz Forum wh0re Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: Canada Age: 42 Posts: 1,429	I feel ya, I was in a 4 year relationship trougth HS and college, and then we broke up, now eveything sucks, I never realised how boring weekends are __________________

11-04-2003, 12:33 PM	#5
Maz Forum wh0re Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: Canada Age: 42 Posts: 1,429	good advice __________________

11-04-2003, 02:11 PM	#6
DeLukas Forum Regular Join Date: May 2001 Location: Fort Collins, CO, USA Age: 44 Posts: 323	and starting tomorrow night I will try to follow it __________________

11-04-2003, 04:56 PM	#7
Stang Team Captain Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: Everett, WA, USA Age: 50 Posts: 3,859 Xbox Leaderboard: 1^st	Woohoo! Tell us how it went . We will help you so you dont mess up anymore . Just be yourself dont act like a different person that your not. We hate that too. __________________

11-04-2003, 11:10 AM	#3
XMEN Ashaman DTM Forum wh0re Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: Seattle, WA Age: 46 Posts: 965	Heh. Some advice from a guy that was single for quite a long while: don't put all your hopes on one girl. Believe it or not, going out with several girls during the same week is good for you. It really makes you look at all of the girls and see how they differ. don't necessarily go for the hottest girl in the room. She's getting hit on constantly, and will probably have her defenses up. Go for one of the others that caught your eye. saying 'hi' is the best "pickup line" you can use. The big thing with dating is quantity. If one girl plays games with you, or doesn't treat you well right away, she doesn't respect you. Move on as quick as you can. Don't EVER second guess yourself... if something isn't right, move on. don't be so picky that you move on from every single girl. you'll end up like George on Seinfeld: he found fault with EVERY single woman he dated. He also ended up in his thirties with not even a girlfriend. Just think about if the fault is something you could accept. My current girlfriend talks loudly... which is something that my sister does and it annoys me. But at the same time, I can work with it. Different things for different guys. Just don't make the mistake of ruling out a woman for the smallest fault. (Remember, that you are not perfect either.) If you come across a beautiful woman and you start to get nervous, remember the silver rule: EVERYONE POOPS! Get out and meet people. Doesn't matter if they are guys or girls. Meet a lot of people. If meeting people isn't your thing, visit a grocery store a lot. You meet a LOT of interesting people at those places. And sometimes, the women approach you... I got asked out after a woman and I were discussing cucumbers and she noted how phallic they are. I laughed and we went out a few times. When seeing several people, do NOT tell the women that you are seeing other people. This should be common sense. Only after you've had "the talk" about a monogamous relationship should you consider her your girlfriend. Let the woman bring this up. And another silver rule for guys in general: NEVER EVER come off desparate. This would include things like hanging out with her ALL THE TIME; or saying how much you love her when you first meet her (never say that until after you've had the talk, and she's stated how she feels first). Or anything else along those lines (I hope those lines were made clear). DON'T FALL IN LOVE WITH HER FIRST! If you do, 9 times out of 10 she'll sense it and consider you desparate... it makes women feel gross. They don't like the feeling of being stalked or pressured or anything like that. And if they do, then you had better move on because they are messed up. Do things that you enjoy... preferably things that involve other people so you have opportunity to meet new people. You'll feel better about yourself and have opportunity. Women like men that feel good about themselves. Don't take a cynical view of the world... the world becomes a depressing, colorless wasteland if you are cynical. Keep trying to meet new people. School is an excellent place to do that. You don't have to party or anything, but I recommend at least going to some parties.

11-04-2003, 11:12 AM	#4
XMEN Ashaman DTM Forum wh0re Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: Seattle, WA Age: 46 Posts: 965	And if you are going to complain about things... use this forum. I know you may not be looking for advice now... but keep what I said in mind in the future.

11-10-2003, 08:33 AM	#9
yak Threadkiller Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: marysville, washington Age: 39 Posts: 537	whether or not you want to listen to me, i only really have two rules. 1. dont try to change yourself to fit their needs and 2. be honest from the start of the relationship __________________ One can smile, and smile, and still be a villian.-William Shakespeare Are you trying to tell me that the man who tried to put a rubber fist in my anus was a uhh.. homosexual?-Borat

11-10-2003, 11:36 AM	#10
Stang Team Captain Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: Everett, WA, USA Age: 50 Posts: 3,859 Xbox Leaderboard: 1^st	Like I said . It must sound "right" coming from a mans mouth . __________________

11-11-2003, 05:51 AM	#11
Maz Forum wh0re Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: Canada Age: 42 Posts: 1,429	LOL __________________

11-11-2003, 06:52 AM	#12
PrincessAmy Jester's Princess Join Date: May 2003 Location: Right here... Age: 48 Posts: 197	I say, just find what makes you happy in life(you know like everyone says 'find yourself') and don't really try to find 'the right one', and before you know it...she/he will be sitting right infront of you. __________________

11-11-2003, 11:18 AM	#13
Stang Team Captain Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: Everett, WA, USA Age: 50 Posts: 3,859 Xbox Leaderboard: 1^st	Exactly __________________

11-11-2003, 12:08 PM	#14
DeLukas Forum Regular Join Date: May 2001 Location: Fort Collins, CO, USA Age: 44 Posts: 323	Hmmm. . . .seems like I'm a great person to say up with all night talking to about problems. . .but going on a date with. . .no way. I think a simple picture explains everything: <img src=http://suzanneh.com/1/picture_dictionary_food/lollypop.jpg> __________________ Last edited by DeLukas; 11-11-2003 at 12:10 PM.

11-12-2003, 11:21 AM	#15
Stang Team Captain Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: Everett, WA, USA Age: 50 Posts: 3,859 Xbox Leaderboard: 1^st	Well at least you know where you stand with that person and can move on to find that other person you want a love connection with. You will find that special person Delukas dont rush it. Dont want to make a mistake down the road. Just have a good time for now and it will all fall into place. __________________

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