the best thing that has ever happened to me - Page 2

XMEN Ashaman DTM · 06-12-2007, 03:22 PM

You're feeling like taking her back for a couple of reasons: familiarity and for some reason, you thought you were in love.

From what you've said, she's a flake/liar and isn't even worth glancing at as you keep walking on your path.

I've never been in that particular kind of situation. But YOU are not strong enough to dictate events on your terms if you take her back. You think you loved her, and maybe you did. But you also have to realize that you are still young and yes, hormones play a role at your age. If you can't 100% unconditionally trust her, then why waste time thinking about her.

I have a friend from grad school who had a wife that went to school in Florida (we were at the UW in Seattle). He went out to meet her for Christmas, and found her cheating on him. They were married. That was hard on him, and I'm glad he could come and talk to me and a couple of other people about it. But he was perfectly correct by NOT trying to work things out. Once that trust is gone, it's gone. He ended up graduating, and working in Arizona; he got married and has a son who is almost a year old (I think).

Long story short: you can do better. And if you keep meeting people, you'll run into someone that's worth your effort.

yak · 06-13-2007, 07:57 AM

im sorry guys, but i guess you will have to hurt me. i took her back. im giving her one last chance. she seemed truly sorry when i went over to get my mail. i dont know if i made the right choice yet. if i didnt i suppose i can grace the bitch pit again with my presence...lol

XRogue · 06-13-2007, 09:07 AM

Who gets to strangle yak?

yak · 06-13-2007, 10:12 AM

yeah, i know but i love her. so strangle away.

Stang · 06-13-2007, 04:03 PM

All of us, we will take turns

yak · 06-14-2007, 04:45 AM

i am only giving her one last chance. but since you feel that you must strangle me, go ahead(i cant say that i wont enjoy it)

LoS-NutzholzWolf · 06-14-2007, 07:17 AM

She' hasn't changed Yak. From what I have read here, you have been kind to her and understanding but she has abused your friendship repeatedly.

What makes you think she has changed if she didn't change after the first time? How many times must she hurt you before you say 'no more'? If she really cared for you then why would she use your close friend behind your back? Here is probably the most important question: why did she come back after having already kicked you out, hurt you, and continued to see your friend?

Think about it, what is it she's after? A friend? A stable base? A play thing? Someone who lets her have her way? Someone she nows how to toy with? Why did she leave the other guy so soon? Why did she come back to you after having tossed gasoline and fire onto it the relationship?

Yak, take a few moments and answer these question to yourself and answer every question that enters your mind that a rise. Don't answer for her by rationalizing her actions, but take them as her own answers to the question. From the actions of that night she kicked you out to the things she said to get you back hides the truth about why she is doing this. Either it can be fixed and your relationship can continue with no more problems or in most cases your two personalities have a subtle difference that can never let you two be together happy.

XRogue · 06-14-2007, 11:34 AM

Yak, dude, it's not that we are mad, it's just we don't want to see you hurt. Aren't you tired of living with this? And you say you love her, but to Nutz's excellent questions, I will add one more. Does she love YOU? Think on it. Is this loving behavior from her?

All of what Nutz has said, plus does this person love you, is what I once had to ask myself, and take my word, if I'd not walked away then, I'd have ruined my life. Don't go down this road, you already know what's at the end of it.

Stang · 06-14-2007, 04:10 PM

Exactly we arent mad we are just trying to help you see what is happening. I think if you really wanted her back, which I wouldn't have done, then some rules should have been set and taken things VERY slowly that way you don't get hurt and if you see hit coming AGAIN you can call the shots. Or you should be calling the shots if she is EVER to get your trust back.

It just sucks to hear of all this and then you turn around and take her back. We want whats best for you and for you to enjoy what its all about to have someone love YOU and both of you be loved. I guess the actions will show what will happen for you guys. Just be careful Yak.

yak · 06-15-2007, 10:13 PM

i realize that i will probobly be hurt again. i dont know if i will trust her for a while. but i love her more than anything, so i will at least give her one last chance. dont worry, i know that you are all trying to help me to not be hurt, im just a fool.its as simple as that. ive had other girlfriends, but ive never felt whole around them. until i met her ive never truly been able to mean it when i say i love you.

XRogue · 06-16-2007, 11:18 AM

You can't be depending on another person to make you whole. People will always let you down in one way or another, and I have to say, this way is pretty bad.

Aluscia · 06-16-2007, 11:51 AM

I echo previous statements

I've hit the bottom of the barrel in terms of love before. I have some understanding of it (especially with what happened to my parents when I was 18). I know cheating, and I know the motivations/desire for familiarity. I will say it again, just because everyone else is saying it. Once she's broken the trust, there's nothing to say that she won't do it again. Does she really care enough about you? Guilt does not equal concern, nor love, nor fidelity.

Your life is yours to live, that's for certain... just trying to shed some light on it from all the gloom we've encountered in similar positions.

yak · 06-19-2007, 09:53 PM

i have ben thinking about how to say this without rambling on... im not sure if i made the right choice by taking her back. this will sound weird, but i love her more than my swords(im a swordsman by trade after work). only time will tell if things have changed. i do thank all of you for your concern.

yak · 04-01-2008, 11:42 AM

yay a new developement

sarah fell into her cheating ways. i was expecting it but something good came out of it. i met this girl April on the game i play, Maplestory. we really hit it off and i really like her in rl. im hoping to make this relationship work better than the last one

lol anyways i guess this shouldnt be posted here cuz its not a bytch gripe or maon.lol

Stang · 04-01-2008, 04:17 PM

YAY! Glad to see things turning around for you

. Best wishes!

06-13-2007, 07:57 AM	#17
yak Threadkiller Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: marysville, washington Age: 39 Posts: 537	im sorry guys, but i guess you will have to hurt me. i took her back. im giving her one last chance. she seemed truly sorry when i went over to get my mail. i dont know if i made the right choice yet. if i didnt i suppose i can grace the bitch pit again with my presence...lol __________________ One can smile, and smile, and still be a villian.-William Shakespeare Are you trying to tell me that the man who tried to put a rubber fist in my anus was a uhh.. homosexual?-Borat

06-13-2007, 10:12 AM	#19
yak Threadkiller Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: marysville, washington Age: 39 Posts: 537	yeah, i know but i love her. so strangle away. __________________ One can smile, and smile, and still be a villian.-William Shakespeare Are you trying to tell me that the man who tried to put a rubber fist in my anus was a uhh.. homosexual?-Borat

06-13-2007, 04:03 PM	#20
Stang Team Captain Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: Everett, WA, USA Age: 50 Posts: 3,859 Xbox Leaderboard: 1^st	All of us, we will take turns __________________

06-14-2007, 04:45 AM	#21
yak Threadkiller Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: marysville, washington Age: 39 Posts: 537	i am only giving her one last chance. but since you feel that you must strangle me, go ahead(i cant say that i wont enjoy it) __________________ One can smile, and smile, and still be a villian.-William Shakespeare Are you trying to tell me that the man who tried to put a rubber fist in my anus was a uhh.. homosexual?-Borat

06-14-2007, 07:17 AM	#22
LoS-NutzholzWolf Forum Regular Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: Columbus, Oh Age: 40 Posts: 123	She' hasn't changed Yak. From what I have read here, you have been kind to her and understanding but she has abused your friendship repeatedly. What makes you think she has changed if she didn't change after the first time? How many times must she hurt you before you say 'no more'? If she really cared for you then why would she use your close friend behind your back? Here is probably the most important question: why did she come back after having already kicked you out, hurt you, and continued to see your friend? Think about it, what is it she's after? A friend? A stable base? A play thing? Someone who lets her have her way? Someone she nows how to toy with? Why did she leave the other guy so soon? Why did she come back to you after having tossed gasoline and fire onto it the relationship? Yak, take a few moments and answer these question to yourself and answer every question that enters your mind that a rise. Don't answer for her by rationalizing her actions, but take them as her own answers to the question. From the actions of that night she kicked you out to the things she said to get you back hides the truth about why she is doing this. Either it can be fixed and your relationship can continue with no more problems or in most cases your two personalities have a subtle difference that can never let you two be together happy. __________________ -LoS-TimberWolf "Republican Ideology advanced the concept of 'civic virtue' - the idea that democracy depended on the unselfish commitment of each citizen to the public good." from The Brief American Pageant 6st edition

06-12-2007, 03:22 PM	#16
XMEN Ashaman DTM Forum wh0re Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: Seattle, WA Age: 46 Posts: 965	You're feeling like taking her back for a couple of reasons: familiarity and for some reason, you thought you were in love. From what you've said, she's a flake/liar and isn't even worth glancing at as you keep walking on your path. I've never been in that particular kind of situation. But YOU are not strong enough to dictate events on your terms if you take her back. You think you loved her, and maybe you did. But you also have to realize that you are still young and yes, hormones play a role at your age. If you can't 100% unconditionally trust her, then why waste time thinking about her. I have a friend from grad school who had a wife that went to school in Florida (we were at the UW in Seattle). He went out to meet her for Christmas, and found her cheating on him. They were married. That was hard on him, and I'm glad he could come and talk to me and a couple of other people about it. But he was perfectly correct by NOT trying to work things out. Once that trust is gone, it's gone. He ended up graduating, and working in Arizona; he got married and has a son who is almost a year old (I think). Long story short: you can do better. And if you keep meeting people, you'll run into someone that's worth your effort.

06-13-2007, 09:07 AM	#18
XRogue Forum wh0re Join Date: May 2001 Location: Texas Age: 53 Posts: 1,097	Who gets to strangle yak?

06-14-2007, 11:34 AM	#23
XRogue Forum wh0re Join Date: May 2001 Location: Texas Age: 53 Posts: 1,097	Yak, dude, it's not that we are mad, it's just we don't want to see you hurt. Aren't you tired of living with this? And you say you love her, but to Nutz's excellent questions, I will add one more. Does she love YOU? Think on it. Is this loving behavior from her? All of what Nutz has said, plus does this person love you, is what I once had to ask myself, and take my word, if I'd not walked away then, I'd have ruined my life. Don't go down this road, you already know what's at the end of it.

06-14-2007, 04:10 PM	#24
Stang Team Captain Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: Everett, WA, USA Age: 50 Posts: 3,859 Xbox Leaderboard: 1^st	Exactly we arent mad we are just trying to help you see what is happening. I think if you really wanted her back, which I wouldn't have done, then some rules should have been set and taken things VERY slowly that way you don't get hurt and if you see hit coming AGAIN you can call the shots. Or you should be calling the shots if she is EVER to get your trust back. It just sucks to hear of all this and then you turn around and take her back. We want whats best for you and for you to enjoy what its all about to have someone love YOU and both of you be loved. I guess the actions will show what will happen for you guys. Just be careful Yak. __________________

06-15-2007, 10:13 PM	#25
yak Threadkiller Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: marysville, washington Age: 39 Posts: 537	i realize that i will probobly be hurt again. i dont know if i will trust her for a while. but i love her more than anything, so i will at least give her one last chance. dont worry, i know that you are all trying to help me to not be hurt, im just a fool.its as simple as that. ive had other girlfriends, but ive never felt whole around them. until i met her ive never truly been able to mean it when i say i love you. __________________ One can smile, and smile, and still be a villian.-William Shakespeare Are you trying to tell me that the man who tried to put a rubber fist in my anus was a uhh.. homosexual?-Borat

06-16-2007, 11:18 AM	#26
XRogue Forum wh0re Join Date: May 2001 Location: Texas Age: 53 Posts: 1,097	You can't be depending on another person to make you whole. People will always let you down in one way or another, and I have to say, this way is pretty bad.

06-16-2007, 11:51 AM	#27
Aluscia Emo Queen 1000th Thread Main Forum Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: In a subterranean complex. Age: 41 Posts: 2,346	I echo previous statements I've hit the bottom of the barrel in terms of love before. I have some understanding of it (especially with what happened to my parents when I was 18). I know cheating, and I know the motivations/desire for familiarity. I will say it again, just because everyone else is saying it. Once she's broken the trust, there's nothing to say that she won't do it again. Does she really care enough about you? Guilt does not equal concern, nor love, nor fidelity. Your life is yours to live, that's for certain... just trying to shed some light on it from all the gloom we've encountered in similar positions. __________________ Favourite Song of the moment - Pyramid Song - Radiohead

06-19-2007, 09:53 PM	#28
yak Threadkiller Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: marysville, washington Age: 39 Posts: 537	i have ben thinking about how to say this without rambling on... im not sure if i made the right choice by taking her back. this will sound weird, but i love her more than my swords(im a swordsman by trade after work). only time will tell if things have changed. i do thank all of you for your concern. __________________ One can smile, and smile, and still be a villian.-William Shakespeare Are you trying to tell me that the man who tried to put a rubber fist in my anus was a uhh.. homosexual?-Borat

04-01-2008, 11:42 AM	#29
yak Threadkiller Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: marysville, washington Age: 39 Posts: 537	yay a new developement sarah fell into her cheating ways. i was expecting it but something good came out of it. i met this girl April on the game i play, Maplestory. we really hit it off and i really like her in rl. im hoping to make this relationship work better than the last one lol anyways i guess this shouldnt be posted here cuz its not a bytch gripe or maon.lol __________________ One can smile, and smile, and still be a villian.-William Shakespeare Are you trying to tell me that the man who tried to put a rubber fist in my anus was a uhh.. homosexual?-Borat

04-01-2008, 04:17 PM	#30
Stang Team Captain Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: Everett, WA, USA Age: 50 Posts: 3,859 Xbox Leaderboard: 1^st	YAY! Glad to see things turning around for you . Best wishes! __________________

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