Giggles

Ghryphen · 01-06-2005, 01:07 PM

Don't ask me why it says Only in America, I'm sure that is a fib, but here goes:
__________________________________
ONLY IN AMERICA:

Only in America.....do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

Only in America......do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke. !

Only in America.......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

Only in America......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

Only in America.......do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.

Only in America.......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

EVER WONDER ....

Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed? !

Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?

Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

SiFi · 01-06-2005, 02:13 PM

All valid points, and very funny, except for the Black Box part: it's made out of titanium, and a plane made out of titanium would be too heavy to fly. It might even be so heavy that the fuselage would tear and the whole thing would come apart of the runway

yak · 01-06-2005, 04:35 PM

but not if you make the ribs out of titanium and the skin out of aluminum, then install slighly more powerful engines.

and they are all good points of things that happen only in america, but you forgot one....
ONLY IN AMERICA can a moron be elected to office.

Gambit · 01-06-2005, 04:50 PM

Um, titanium is LIGHT. It's also very expensive. And is often used in an alloy for the aircraft anyway.

And Yak, only in America do we have the opportunity to choose which moron we want!

Stang · 01-06-2005, 05:00 PM

Why is that canadians say aboot, are they really that facinated with boots that they had to replace about with aboot? What aboot that?

KitZune · 01-07-2005, 08:43 AM

WE DON'T SAY ABOOT ARRRRGGHGHRHASGHRGARGHGR
You crazy people ... you hear things when we're talkin' we don't say aboot.

but we DO say "eh?"

Ghryphen · 01-07-2005, 08:57 AM

A lot of the fasteners in the airplanes are titanium, but most everything is aluminum. titanium is heavier than aluminum.

PrincessAmy · 01-07-2005, 11:13 AM

Too funny! I think the garage one is the funniest! I can't even find our bikes in there. Yikes! Have to spring clean!!!

sh@rp · 01-07-2005, 12:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KitZune

WE DON'T SAY ABOOT ARRRRGGHGHRHASGHRGARGHGR
You crazy people ... you hear things when we're talkin' we don't say aboot.

but we DO say "eh?"

SouthPark says ya guys do, and thats enough for me

Stang · 01-07-2005, 04:21 PM

SiFi · 01-07-2005, 06:32 PM

South park also said that we go to war with hockey sticks and...some sort of heavy weapon, it's been a while since I saw the movie

sh@rp · 01-07-2005, 07:36 PM

i watched it 1-3 am on new years day on comedy centrals secret stash :-P

XMEN Ashaman DTM · 01-08-2005, 11:56 AM

Actually, most of the metal in a plane is titanium. Anything that bears a load on a plane (landing gear, wing mounts, etc), is titanium. The skin and most of the support structure is aluminum, and the rest is either composite or plastic.

01-06-2005, 01:07 PM	#1
Ghryphen THZ Founder Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: WA, USA Age: 50 Posts: 3,927	Giggles Don't ask me why it says Only in America, I'm sure that is a fib, but here goes: __________________________________ ONLY IN AMERICA: Only in America.....do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front. Only in America......do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke. ! Only in America.......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters. Only in America......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage. Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight. Only in America.......do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'. Only in America.......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering. EVER WONDER .... Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin? Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed? ! Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"? Why is "abbreviated" such a long word? Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"? Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons? Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker? Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour? Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food? Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes? Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections? You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?! Why don't sheep shrink when it rains? Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together? If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress? If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal? __________________ The Hounds of Zeus \| Allied Tribal Forces

01-06-2005, 02:13 PM	#2
SiFi Forum Regular Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: ([]*[])The Frozen North Age: 42 Posts: 230	All valid points, and very funny, except for the Black Box part: it's made out of titanium, and a plane made out of titanium would be too heavy to fly. It might even be so heavy that the fuselage would tear and the whole thing would come apart of the runway __________________ Let thy speech be better than silence, or be silent -Dionysius of Halicarnassus

01-06-2005, 04:35 PM	#3
yak Threadkiller Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: marysville, washington Age: 39 Posts: 537	but not if you make the ribs out of titanium and the skin out of aluminum, then install slighly more powerful engines. and they are all good points of things that happen only in america, but you forgot one.... ONLY IN AMERICA can a moron be elected to office. __________________ One can smile, and smile, and still be a villian.-William Shakespeare Are you trying to tell me that the man who tried to put a rubber fist in my anus was a uhh.. homosexual?-Borat Last edited by yak; 01-06-2005 at 04:38 PM.

01-06-2005, 04:50 PM	#4
Gambit Forum wh0re Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: DFW area, TX Posts: 744	Um, titanium is LIGHT. It's also very expensive. And is often used in an alloy for the aircraft anyway. And Yak, only in America do we have the opportunity to choose which moron we want! __________________ XMEN member Card-carrying DTM OKL Fish-napper Though a program be but three lines long, someday it will have to be maintained. -The Tao of Programming

01-06-2005, 05:00 PM	#5
Stang Team Captain Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: Everett, WA, USA Age: 50 Posts: 3,859 Xbox Leaderboard: 1^st	Why is that canadians say aboot, are they really that facinated with boots that they had to replace about with aboot? What aboot that? __________________

01-07-2005, 08:43 AM	#6
KitZune Transgendered Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: Burlington Ontario (Near Toronto) Age: 42 Posts: 1,079	WE DON'T SAY ABOOT ARRRRGGHGHRHASGHRGARGHGR You crazy people ... you hear things when we're talkin' we don't say aboot. but we DO say "eh?" __________________ She's named after Judas... Not a CARROT Click here to view my artwork

01-07-2005, 08:57 AM	#7
Ghryphen THZ Founder Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: WA, USA Age: 50 Posts: 3,927	A lot of the fasteners in the airplanes are titanium, but most everything is aluminum. titanium is heavier than aluminum. __________________ The Hounds of Zeus \| Allied Tribal Forces

01-07-2005, 11:13 AM	#8
PrincessAmy Jester's Princess Join Date: May 2003 Location: Right here... Age: 48 Posts: 197	Too funny! I think the garage one is the funniest! I can't even find our bikes in there. Yikes! Have to spring clean!!! __________________

01-07-2005, 04:21 PM	#10
Stang Team Captain Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: Everett, WA, USA Age: 50 Posts: 3,859 Xbox Leaderboard: 1^st	__________________

01-07-2005, 06:32 PM	#11
SiFi Forum Regular Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: ([]*[])The Frozen North Age: 42 Posts: 230	South park also said that we go to war with hockey sticks and...some sort of heavy weapon, it's been a while since I saw the movie __________________ Let thy speech be better than silence, or be silent -Dionysius of Halicarnassus

01-07-2005, 07:36 PM	#12
sh@rp Forum Regular Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Baltimore, Maryland Age: 38 Posts: 271	i watched it 1-3 am on new years day on comedy centrals secret stash :-P __________________ Proud Member of the XMEN

01-08-2005, 11:56 AM	#13
XMEN Ashaman DTM Forum wh0re Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: Seattle, WA Age: 46 Posts: 965	Actually, most of the metal in a plane is titanium. Anything that bears a load on a plane (landing gear, wing mounts, etc), is titanium. The skin and most of the support structure is aluminum, and the rest is either composite or plastic.

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