Okay. This one is tough...

XMEN Ashaman DTM · 03-13-2003, 11:20 AM

I recently met a wonderful girl. We went out a couple of times, and had a blast.

The problem that I am having is that there are some unresolved feelings for another girl. That's my internal problem.

I think I've made a bit of a mess of things because I told this new girl that we shouldn't get serious about anything because "I think I still have some feelings for someone".

Talk about a real pisser.

I just didn't feel comfortable trying to pursue a romantic relationship with these damned feelings. Even though I want to, I think I still need more time. Although one of my friends reminded me of the fact that the quickest way to get over one girl is to go out with another. But I don't know that that's a fair thing to do (for anyone).

Am I right in thinking this?

Cerberus · 03-13-2003, 11:22 AM

I think you just need to get some.

XMEN Ashaman DTM · 03-13-2003, 12:00 PM

Yeah. That's what happened on those two dates.

Stang · 03-13-2003, 12:05 PM

I think you are. Why string one girl along when your not sure about what your feeling for another? Im glad you were straight up with the girl. Alot of guys would try to play them both and thats not nice and fair.

They must be some hard feelings or you wouldnt be thinking about them.

Walks on Clouds · 03-13-2003, 06:16 PM

Be nice and play it safe and tactful. It'd be the best for all parts, surely.

Jode · 03-13-2003, 07:11 PM

Just be honest, don't use people or hurt people.

Xenocidez66 · 03-15-2003, 12:02 PM

Ahhh I don't think that I can post on this. I have no morals or feelings and I started to laugh at the questions and advice I wanted to give

KitZune · 03-16-2003, 09:12 AM

I give objetive advice, since I have little moral centre, I find that my advice tends to be very neutral.

What you should do is some serious thinking. Making a girl wait... making her feel like she's "not good enough to get your attention" can cause serious problems in creating a relationship. Saying that you have feelings for someone else will make her feel like she's just second best. Now as you implied you've already "been" with this new girl... Whether or not it means much to you, I can guarantee you it means something to the girl. It's more emotional to women then it tends to be for men. Not to assume that it meant nothing to you.

The best way to look at it would be to forget "Feelings" for a moment and actually listen to your brain. a lot of people will tell you to "listen to your heart" while the truth can be much more sobering than your heart. If this girl you have feelings for is someone you're not likely to get together with... or more correctly, If I assume correctly, that she is someone you've broken it off with... It's not a good idea to hang on to the idea that you might get back together with her... as for the feelings... they won't go away... They'll merely numb with time... and yes, being with someone else will help you to forget those feelings from time to time.

What I'm saying is this: Don't wait for feelings to die... because they just don't. There are very few people who can cut their feelings off like dead rosebuds. Even I have trouble with that one. Don't let an old relationship screw up a perfectly good new one. And if this old relationship is destined to get back together... it should happen without your help.

Go with the flow... I would consider being with this new girl, regardless of any old feelings.

Kitzune's advice mode is now off.

Uuuhhh... I think I'm gonna go cram a q-tip up my nose until I poke the part of my brain that hangs down into my nasal cavity now.

Gambit · 03-16-2003, 11:04 AM

Gambit's take, in a nutshell:
Don't sleep with anyone unless it's your wife. Be honest but considerate in your relationships, to yourself as well as others. Understand that love is less about feelings than actions and their motives.

Xenocidez66 · 03-16-2003, 01:34 PM

All Hail Kitzune who now is considered for saint hood and the advice forum. Hay Gryphon Call it "Kitzunes advice to the lost" or something like that.

XMEN Ashaman DTM · 03-16-2003, 01:34 PM

Well, Kit, what you said pretty much sums up my thoughts.

Jode · 03-16-2003, 06:56 PM

MAN! Thumbsup to Gambit! Rogue you caught a good one there didn't ya???

XRogue · 03-16-2003, 09:23 PM

Yup. (shhhhh, don't tell him I said so.....)

Stang · 03-17-2003, 04:51 PM

Right on Kit! Very well said and just what I was thinking but didnt know how to say it.

KitZune · 03-18-2003, 01:56 PM

I hope that advice helps...
And I'm glad we're on the same page.

03-13-2003, 11:20 AM	#1
XMEN Ashaman DTM Forum wh0re Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: Seattle, WA Age: 46 Posts: 965	Okay. This one is tough... I recently met a wonderful girl. We went out a couple of times, and had a blast. The problem that I am having is that there are some unresolved feelings for another girl. That's my internal problem. I think I've made a bit of a mess of things because I told this new girl that we shouldn't get serious about anything because "I think I still have some feelings for someone". Talk about a real pisser. I just didn't feel comfortable trying to pursue a romantic relationship with these damned feelings. Even though I want to, I think I still need more time. Although one of my friends reminded me of the fact that the quickest way to get over one girl is to go out with another. But I don't know that that's a fair thing to do (for anyone). Am I right in thinking this?

03-13-2003, 11:22 AM	#2
Cerberus One bad mofo'n Hound Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: Your Mom's House Age: 47 Posts: 1,319	I think you just need to get some. __________________ Tribes:Ascend Play it today for free

03-13-2003, 12:05 PM	#4
Stang Team Captain Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: Everett, WA, USA Age: 50 Posts: 3,859 Xbox Leaderboard: 1^st	I think you are. Why string one girl along when your not sure about what your feeling for another? Im glad you were straight up with the girl. Alot of guys would try to play them both and thats not nice and fair. They must be some hard feelings or you wouldnt be thinking about them. __________________

03-13-2003, 06:16 PM	#5
Walks on Clouds Forum Regular Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Gothenburg, Sweden Age: 44 Posts: 346	Be nice and play it safe and tactful. It'd be the best for all parts, surely. __________________ /Walks on Clouds - Pappy Huppy

03-13-2003, 07:11 PM	#6
Jode Whoopiteedoo! Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: WFZ Age: 48 Posts: 442	Just be honest, don't use people or hurt people. __________________

03-13-2003, 12:00 PM	#3
XMEN Ashaman DTM Forum wh0re Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: Seattle, WA Age: 46 Posts: 965	Yeah. That's what happened on those two dates.

03-15-2003, 12:02 PM	#7
Xenocidez66 Forum Regular Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: Iceland Age: 54 Posts: 207	Ahhh I don't think that I can post on this. I have no morals or feelings and I started to laugh at the questions and advice I wanted to give __________________ Knoledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

03-16-2003, 09:12 AM	#8
KitZune Transgendered Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: Burlington Ontario (Near Toronto) Age: 42 Posts: 1,079	I give objetive advice, since I have little moral centre, I find that my advice tends to be very neutral. What you should do is some serious thinking. Making a girl wait... making her feel like she's "not good enough to get your attention" can cause serious problems in creating a relationship. Saying that you have feelings for someone else will make her feel like she's just second best. Now as you implied you've already "been" with this new girl... Whether or not it means much to you, I can guarantee you it means something to the girl. It's more emotional to women then it tends to be for men. Not to assume that it meant nothing to you. The best way to look at it would be to forget "Feelings" for a moment and actually listen to your brain. a lot of people will tell you to "listen to your heart" while the truth can be much more sobering than your heart. If this girl you have feelings for is someone you're not likely to get together with... or more correctly, If I assume correctly, that she is someone you've broken it off with... It's not a good idea to hang on to the idea that you might get back together with her... as for the feelings... they won't go away... They'll merely numb with time... and yes, being with someone else will help you to forget those feelings from time to time. What I'm saying is this: Don't wait for feelings to die... because they just don't. There are very few people who can cut their feelings off like dead rosebuds. Even I have trouble with that one. Don't let an old relationship screw up a perfectly good new one. And if this old relationship is destined to get back together... it should happen without your help. Go with the flow... I would consider being with this new girl, regardless of any old feelings. Kitzune's advice mode is now off. Uuuhhh... I think I'm gonna go cram a q-tip up my nose until I poke the part of my brain that hangs down into my nasal cavity now. __________________ She's named after Judas... Not a CARROT Click here to view my artwork

03-16-2003, 11:04 AM	#9
Gambit Forum wh0re Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: DFW area, TX Posts: 744	Gambit's take, in a nutshell: Don't sleep with anyone unless it's your wife. Be honest but considerate in your relationships, to yourself as well as others. Understand that love is less about feelings than actions and their motives. __________________ XMEN member Card-carrying DTM OKL Fish-napper Though a program be but three lines long, someday it will have to be maintained. -The Tao of Programming

03-16-2003, 01:34 PM	#10
Xenocidez66 Forum Regular Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: Iceland Age: 54 Posts: 207	All Hail Kitzune who now is considered for saint hood and the advice forum. Hay Gryphon Call it "Kitzunes advice to the lost" or something like that. __________________ Knoledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

03-16-2003, 06:56 PM	#12
Jode Whoopiteedoo! Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: WFZ Age: 48 Posts: 442	MAN! Thumbsup to Gambit! Rogue you caught a good one there didn't ya??? __________________

03-16-2003, 09:23 PM	#13
XRogue Forum wh0re Join Date: May 2001 Location: Texas Age: 53 Posts: 1,097	Yup. (shhhhh, don't tell him I said so.....)

03-17-2003, 04:51 PM	#14
Stang Team Captain Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: Everett, WA, USA Age: 50 Posts: 3,859 Xbox Leaderboard: 1^st	Right on Kit! Very well said and just what I was thinking but didnt know how to say it. __________________

03-18-2003, 01:56 PM	#15
KitZune Transgendered Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: Burlington Ontario (Near Toronto) Age: 42 Posts: 1,079	I hope that advice helps... And I'm glad we're on the same page. __________________ She's named after Judas... Not a CARROT Click here to view my artwork

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