I want your honest opinion

[yak]

ok now people, i would like youre honest opinion on this poem. i should warn you, this is the first poem that i have written in about 3 years. so here goes nothing. the name of the poem is: knowledge in the sea of relentless emotion.






KNOWLEDGE IN THE SEA OF RELENTLESS EMOTION

Why must I torture myself,
Never fully knowing why.
I have beared my emotions,
the best that i possibly can.
I still don't know about you,
I don't know if you feel the same.
I don't know how you feel.
All i know is how I feel.
This longing feeling never subsiding,
Not knowing when it will end.
Not knowing how to cope.
Seeking guidance from half trusted men,
But still relying on me.
Relying only on me.
This surge of outpouring emotions.
Completly overpowering.
Semmingly never ending.
I haven't felt this way since......
Since Lura.
I was willing to change once,
I might try again.
All my emotions,
Carefully suppressed.
I've adapted to my free state.
I've adapted to my lack of feelings,
Feelings for others.
They are hard to mold,to control.
I try my hardest, but no,
I can't suppress my emotions.
I've been devoid for so long,
I can't describe the way that I feel.
I tlak to you and I just melt away.
I melt into bliss,
I melt into anguish.
I can see something there.
I see something in your eyes.
Or am I just imagining?
I might be.
Maybe I just want something,
Anything to be there.
Maybe I'm just imagining.
Maybe I am going crazy,
But i know the way that I feel.
And that is something that I will not change.
I never change. I only remain.
I remain unscathed.
I remain oversaturated,
Oversturated with emotions.
I can't suppress,
I can't control,
Anyhting.
Its tearing me up.
Completly overpowering,
No escape.
Like last time,
Like with Lura
No, not like with Lura.
I won't become like that.
Never again.
Never again will i fall.
Never again will i fail,
Fail so miserably.
Damn emotions,
Dredging up the memories.
I won't fall that far,
Never again.
I sit here quiet,
Apparently unchanged.
Apparently unaffected.
On the inside, I'm churning,
Churning in seemingly endless turmoil.
Sitting here confused,
Confused and alone.
Never knowing about you.
You toy with me like its nothing,
I just sit here apparently unchanged.
I change every time I see you.
What I have told you,
You can never imagine.
You can never truly know.
Knowledge is power.
You have power over me,
I sit here weak and powerless.
Surrounded by this pit.
Submerged in these emotions,
Slowly drowning.
Emotionaly esphyxiated all this time.
Your forcing me to breathe.
You can only imagine how much....
I love you.
I can never let you read this.
I can't allow you to gain more power.
But still you toy with me,
Still, I am powerless.
I'm drowning here.
I never had the experience,
I never had the knowledge.
I never learned how to swim,
Swin in this never ending sea.
This endless sea of emotion.