New Barbie dolls!

XMEN Ashaman DTM · 11-03-2003, 05:31 PM

Barbie Dolls Inc. Announces The Release Today of Limited Edition Barbie

Dolls for the Seattle Market:

Medina Barbie:

This princess Barbie is only sold at Bellevue Square (at selected
stores only). She comes with assortment of Kate Spade handbags, a Lexus, a lapdog and a 2 million dollar house. Options include tummy tuck, face lift, spa certificates for Tiba, and a workaholic cheating husband Dr. Ken.

Issaquah Barbie:

This trendy homemaker Barbie is available with the Lexus SUV or Ford Windstar minivan, gets lost easily, and has no full time occupation or secondary education. Traffic jamming cell phone sold separately.
Optional matching gym outfit.

Tacoma Barbie:

This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, a Ray Lewis knife, a slammed Chevrolet with oversized wheels and tinted windows and a Methadone Clinic Ken. Also available in a jailbird version with orange coveralls.

Belltown Condo Barbie:

This yuppie Barbie comes with choice of a BMW sports car or a souped up Hummer 2, Starbucks cup, credit card and shallow Ken.

Kent Barbie:

This white-trash model comes in Wrangler jeans two sizes too small, a NASCAR shirt, big hair, a six pack of Coors Light and a Hank, Jr. CD set. She can spit over 5 feet and she can kick Ken's a$$ when she's drunk. A pickup is available with Confederate flag bumper stickers.

Auburn Barbie:

The Murfreesboro version has a mouth that is firmly closed so as not to show her summer teeth, Daisy Dukes and a half T-shirt that guarantees you can see her navel piercing and at least 5 tattoos. Both versions swear incessantly and are not recommended for children. She is a GRCC drop-out, and has never made it out of what she calls "the rockin' boro"

Everett Barbie:

This tobacco chewing, brassy-haired Barbie still has not learned that you can't wear high-heeled sandals from Payless with no pedicure and without breaking a heel and falling while you chase your beer gutted mullet wearing boyfriend. Her make-up is dark red lip liner with lips covered in a sparkly pink color or no fill-in at all. Her ensemble includes low-rise acid-washed jeans with assorted colored G-strings that stick out the back of her jeans, a white barely-there see-through shirt. Her long, layered hair is bleached/highlighted and BIG. Accessories include: CD-player equipped with Bon Jovi, and a 1996 Camaro Z-28.

Lynnwood Barbie:

This Barbie is the same model of Barbie that was released in 1982. She comes with shoulderpads, dark polyester skirt, white pantyhose and a bad haircut. Options include a Rick James T-shirt, Walmart purse and outdated shoes.

Bonney Lake Barbie:

This flannel wearing Barbie comes with her own 4-H ribbon collection, brown pick up truck and blue eye shadow! She's a country girl at heart with cow manure odored boots (scratch and sniff the soles for a realistic dose of country fun) Cowboy Ken is toothless and also clad in red and black flannel check shirt.

Stang isn't an Everett Barbie, is she Gryph? And where is your mullet and beer gut, Gryph?

XMEN Ashaman DTM · 11-03-2003, 05:42 PM

Oh and for those that don't live around here, GRCC is Green River Community College.

Medina is east of seattle in Bellevue (bill gates lives in this neighborhood). I'm about 10 miles north of Medina.

Issaquah is east of Bellevue, in the foothills of the mountains. It's about 30 minutes east of Seattle.

Tacoma is a city about 60 miles south of seattle. The Tacoma Narrows bridge was here (that one film with the bridge flopping around then falling apart? that happened here.) Tacoma is known for it's heavy gang violence and drugs... even worse than the worst parts of seattle.

Belltown is a part of seattle. Called 'hip, trendy, fun' by some people. It's fun to visit... I'd not want to live there though.

Kent is about 20 miles south east of seattle. It's also 10 miles directly south of the town that I grew up in (renton).

Auburn is further south. About halfway between kent and tacoma. You can still drive past open fields and cows down there. Most everyone has a gun rack and a truck, or a camaro.

Everett, about 45 miles north of seattle. It's sort of a small town that grew too quickly. no sky scrapers, and I'm pretty sure no buildings above 10 stories in height. Not necessarily a bad thing... it's just the people that come out of there are a bit strange...

Lynnwood, about halfway between seattle and everett. Closer to Everett though. It's mostly suburbs here. Apparently, they're about 20 years behind everyone else....

Bonney Lake. Okay, when I was growing up, this was a one store town with maybe a couple of trailers. Now it's gotten to be pretty big. A lot of hicks though.

Ghryphen · 11-03-2003, 06:27 PM

I think Lynnwood and Everett got mixed up. I associate Z-28's with 8-tracks and mullets with Lynnwood

Maz · 11-04-2003, 05:53 AM

so Kent barbie can kick your a$$ when you're drunk Asha?

XMEN Ashaman DTM · 11-04-2003, 10:48 AM

I avoid Kent Barbies. They are freakish.

Maz · 11-04-2003, 11:02 AM

they are pretty freaky

Stang · 11-04-2003, 11:44 AM

I think Everett is more of gangster wannabes and people that are trying to keep the grunge look going. Dress sloppy or wear your pants half way down your ankles.

And they didnt make a Barbie for Mill Creek or the gay/lesbian area, cant think of the name, in Seattle

.

XMEN Ashaman DTM · 11-04-2003, 01:36 PM

Capitol Hill?

XRogue · 11-04-2003, 02:34 PM

I'm just a bill, I'm only a bill, and I'm sitting here on Capitol Hill...

Sorry, flashback.

Stang · 11-04-2003, 04:41 PM

I just remembered Fremont!

XMEN Ashaman DTM · 11-04-2003, 04:53 PM

Hehe. Fremont isn't as bad as it used to be. You have to go to capitol hill for the weirdos. I wonder what halloween was like on Broadway?

I know what Kirkland Barbie looks like:

bleached blonde hair, tan, and a black outfit that could include real leather!

Kirkland Ken has a standard issue black leather jacket (for show of course... he doesn't ride a motorcycle!). And a ferrari, BMW, or Mercedes, or pimpin' SUV.

Note that only Kirkland Barbie is considered a trophy wife to Kirkland Ken.

Stang · 11-04-2003, 04:57 PM

Jode · 11-04-2003, 06:57 PM

yak · 11-10-2003, 08:41 AM

here's a question for you, if barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

Maz · 11-10-2003, 09:04 AM

why not?

11-03-2003, 05:31 PM	#1
XMEN Ashaman DTM Forum wh0re Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: Seattle, WA Age: 46 Posts: 965	New Barbie dolls! Barbie Dolls Inc. Announces The Release Today of Limited Edition Barbie Dolls for the Seattle Market: Medina Barbie: This princess Barbie is only sold at Bellevue Square (at selected stores only). She comes with assortment of Kate Spade handbags, a Lexus, a lapdog and a 2 million dollar house. Options include tummy tuck, face lift, spa certificates for Tiba, and a workaholic cheating husband Dr. Ken. Issaquah Barbie: This trendy homemaker Barbie is available with the Lexus SUV or Ford Windstar minivan, gets lost easily, and has no full time occupation or secondary education. Traffic jamming cell phone sold separately. Optional matching gym outfit. Tacoma Barbie: This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, a Ray Lewis knife, a slammed Chevrolet with oversized wheels and tinted windows and a Methadone Clinic Ken. Also available in a jailbird version with orange coveralls. Belltown Condo Barbie: This yuppie Barbie comes with choice of a BMW sports car or a souped up Hummer 2, Starbucks cup, credit card and shallow Ken. Kent Barbie: This white-trash model comes in Wrangler jeans two sizes too small, a NASCAR shirt, big hair, a six pack of Coors Light and a Hank, Jr. CD set. She can spit over 5 feet and she can kick Ken's a$$ when she's drunk. A pickup is available with Confederate flag bumper stickers. Auburn Barbie: The Murfreesboro version has a mouth that is firmly closed so as not to show her summer teeth, Daisy Dukes and a half T-shirt that guarantees you can see her navel piercing and at least 5 tattoos. Both versions swear incessantly and are not recommended for children. She is a GRCC drop-out, and has never made it out of what she calls "the rockin' boro" Everett Barbie: This tobacco chewing, brassy-haired Barbie still has not learned that you can't wear high-heeled sandals from Payless with no pedicure and without breaking a heel and falling while you chase your beer gutted mullet wearing boyfriend. Her make-up is dark red lip liner with lips covered in a sparkly pink color or no fill-in at all. Her ensemble includes low-rise acid-washed jeans with assorted colored G-strings that stick out the back of her jeans, a white barely-there see-through shirt. Her long, layered hair is bleached/highlighted and BIG. Accessories include: CD-player equipped with Bon Jovi, and a 1996 Camaro Z-28. Lynnwood Barbie: This Barbie is the same model of Barbie that was released in 1982. She comes with shoulderpads, dark polyester skirt, white pantyhose and a bad haircut. Options include a Rick James T-shirt, Walmart purse and outdated shoes. Bonney Lake Barbie: This flannel wearing Barbie comes with her own 4-H ribbon collection, brown pick up truck and blue eye shadow! She's a country girl at heart with cow manure odored boots (scratch and sniff the soles for a realistic dose of country fun) Cowboy Ken is toothless and also clad in red and black flannel check shirt. Stang isn't an Everett Barbie, is she Gryph? And where is your mullet and beer gut, Gryph?

11-03-2003, 06:27 PM	#3
Ghryphen THZ Founder Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: WA, USA Age: 50 Posts: 3,927	I think Lynnwood and Everett got mixed up. I associate Z-28's with 8-tracks and mullets with Lynnwood __________________ The Hounds of Zeus \| Allied Tribal Forces

11-04-2003, 05:53 AM	#4
Maz Forum wh0re Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: Canada Age: 42 Posts: 1,429	so Kent barbie can kick your a$$ when you're drunk Asha? __________________

11-04-2003, 11:02 AM	#6
Maz Forum wh0re Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: Canada Age: 42 Posts: 1,429	they are pretty freaky __________________

11-04-2003, 11:44 AM	#7
Stang Team Captain Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: Everett, WA, USA Age: 50 Posts: 3,859 Xbox Leaderboard: 1^st	I think Everett is more of gangster wannabes and people that are trying to keep the grunge look going. Dress sloppy or wear your pants half way down your ankles. And they didnt make a Barbie for Mill Creek or the gay/lesbian area, cant think of the name, in Seattle . __________________

11-03-2003, 05:42 PM	#2
XMEN Ashaman DTM Forum wh0re Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: Seattle, WA Age: 46 Posts: 965	Oh and for those that don't live around here, GRCC is Green River Community College. Medina is east of seattle in Bellevue (bill gates lives in this neighborhood). I'm about 10 miles north of Medina. Issaquah is east of Bellevue, in the foothills of the mountains. It's about 30 minutes east of Seattle. Tacoma is a city about 60 miles south of seattle. The Tacoma Narrows bridge was here (that one film with the bridge flopping around then falling apart? that happened here.) Tacoma is known for it's heavy gang violence and drugs... even worse than the worst parts of seattle. Belltown is a part of seattle. Called 'hip, trendy, fun' by some people. It's fun to visit... I'd not want to live there though. Kent is about 20 miles south east of seattle. It's also 10 miles directly south of the town that I grew up in (renton). Auburn is further south. About halfway between kent and tacoma. You can still drive past open fields and cows down there. Most everyone has a gun rack and a truck, or a camaro. Everett, about 45 miles north of seattle. It's sort of a small town that grew too quickly. no sky scrapers, and I'm pretty sure no buildings above 10 stories in height. Not necessarily a bad thing... it's just the people that come out of there are a bit strange... Lynnwood, about halfway between seattle and everett. Closer to Everett though. It's mostly suburbs here. Apparently, they're about 20 years behind everyone else.... Bonney Lake. Okay, when I was growing up, this was a one store town with maybe a couple of trailers. Now it's gotten to be pretty big. A lot of hicks though.

11-04-2003, 10:48 AM	#5
XMEN Ashaman DTM Forum wh0re Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: Seattle, WA Age: 46 Posts: 965	I avoid Kent Barbies. They are freakish.

11-04-2003, 01:36 PM	#8
XMEN Ashaman DTM Forum wh0re Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: Seattle, WA Age: 46 Posts: 965	Capitol Hill?

11-04-2003, 02:34 PM	#9
XRogue Forum wh0re Join Date: May 2001 Location: Texas Age: 53 Posts: 1,097	I'm just a bill, I'm only a bill, and I'm sitting here on Capitol Hill... Sorry, flashback.

11-04-2003, 04:41 PM	#10
Stang Team Captain Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: Everett, WA, USA Age: 50 Posts: 3,859 Xbox Leaderboard: 1^st	I just remembered Fremont! __________________

11-04-2003, 04:53 PM	#11
XMEN Ashaman DTM Forum wh0re Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: Seattle, WA Age: 46 Posts: 965	Hehe. Fremont isn't as bad as it used to be. You have to go to capitol hill for the weirdos. I wonder what halloween was like on Broadway? I know what Kirkland Barbie looks like: bleached blonde hair, tan, and a black outfit that could include real leather! Kirkland Ken has a standard issue black leather jacket (for show of course... he doesn't ride a motorcycle!). And a ferrari, BMW, or Mercedes, or pimpin' SUV. Note that only Kirkland Barbie is considered a trophy wife to Kirkland Ken.

11-04-2003, 04:57 PM	#12
Stang Team Captain Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: Everett, WA, USA Age: 50 Posts: 3,859 Xbox Leaderboard: 1^st	__________________

11-04-2003, 06:57 PM	#13
Jode Whoopiteedoo! Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: WFZ Age: 48 Posts: 442	__________________

11-10-2003, 08:41 AM	#14
yak Threadkiller Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: marysville, washington Age: 39 Posts: 537	here's a question for you, if barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends? __________________ One can smile, and smile, and still be a villian.-William Shakespeare Are you trying to tell me that the man who tried to put a rubber fist in my anus was a uhh.. homosexual?-Borat

11-10-2003, 09:04 AM	#15
Maz Forum wh0re Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: Canada Age: 42 Posts: 1,429	why not? __________________