Some common questions about pregnancy

XRogue · 10-25-2001, 09:22 AM

Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
A: No, 35 children is enough.

Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.

Q: How will I know if my vomiting is morning sickness or the flu?
A: If it's the flu, you'll get better.

Q: What is the most common pregnancy craving?
A: For men to be the ones who get pregnant.

Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?
A: Childbirth.

Q: The more pregnant I get, the more often strangers smile at me. Why?
A: Cause you're fatter than they are.

Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's borderline irrational.
A: So what's your question?

Q: What's the difference between a 9 month pregnant woman and a model?
A: Nothing (if the pregnant woman's husband knows what's good for him.

Q: How long is the average woman in labor?
A: Whatever she says divided by two.

Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right?
A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.

Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?
A: Right after you find out you are pregnant.

Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor?
A: Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you.

Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
A: Yes, pregnancy.

Q: Does pregnancy cause hemorrhoids?
A: Pregnancy causes anything you want to blame it for.

Q: What does it mean when the baby is born with teeth?
A: It means that the baby's mother may want to rethink her plans to nurse.

Q: What is the best time to wean the baby from nursing?
A: When you see teeth marks.

Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?
A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.

Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
A: When the kids are in college.

Ghryphen · 10-25-2001, 09:37 AM

Maz · 10-25-2001, 11:44 AM

Stang · 10-25-2001, 04:23 PM

THZDax · 10-25-2001, 04:53 PM

lol

XRogue · 10-25-2001, 05:29 PM

/me curtsies

Spinning Hat · 10-25-2001, 06:41 PM

Too true.....

10-25-2001, 09:22 AM	#1
XRogue Forum wh0re Join Date: May 2001 Location: Texas Age: 53 Posts: 1,097	Some common questions about pregnancy Q: Should I have a baby after 35? A: No, 35 children is enough. Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move? A: With any luck, right after he finishes college. Q: How will I know if my vomiting is morning sickness or the flu? A: If it's the flu, you'll get better. Q: What is the most common pregnancy craving? A: For men to be the ones who get pregnant. Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex? A: Childbirth. Q: The more pregnant I get, the more often strangers smile at me. Why? A: Cause you're fatter than they are. Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's borderline irrational. A: So what's your question? Q: What's the difference between a 9 month pregnant woman and a model? A: Nothing (if the pregnant woman's husband knows what's good for him. Q: How long is the average woman in labor? A: Whatever she says divided by two. Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right? A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current. Q: When is the best time to get an epidural? A: Right after you find out you are pregnant. Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor? A: Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you. Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth? A: Yes, pregnancy. Q: Does pregnancy cause hemorrhoids? A: Pregnancy causes anything you want to blame it for. Q: What does it mean when the baby is born with teeth? A: It means that the baby's mother may want to rethink her plans to nurse. Q: What is the best time to wean the baby from nursing? A: When you see teeth marks. Q: Do I have to have a baby shower? A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly. Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again? A: When the kids are in college.

10-25-2001, 09:37 AM	#2
Ghryphen THZ Founder Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: WA, USA Age: 50 Posts: 3,927	__________________ The Hounds of Zeus \| Allied Tribal Forces

10-25-2001, 11:44 AM	#3
Maz Forum wh0re Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: Canada Age: 42 Posts: 1,429	__________________

10-25-2001, 04:23 PM	#4
Stang Team Captain Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: Everett, WA, USA Age: 50 Posts: 3,859 Xbox Leaderboard: 1^st	__________________

10-25-2001, 06:41 PM	#7
Spinning Hat Toupee Cover Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Coon Rapids, MN USA Age: 44 Posts: 755	Too true..... __________________ Never, Never, Never Quit -Winston Churchill

10-25-2001, 04:53 PM	#5
THZDax Forum Regular Join Date: Apr 2001 Posts: 348	lol

10-25-2001, 05:29 PM	#6
XRogue Forum wh0re Join Date: May 2001 Location: Texas Age: 53 Posts: 1,097	/me curtsies

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