The Hounds of Zeus - View Single Post

Switch187 · 10-31-2004, 08:34 AM

Ashaman once again your right about the situation. Although I sat and analized things from my point of view, I still didn't know her side and how she thought about it. So another thing happened last night, and I know that things have been flip floping lateley between me and her, but after we had "broken up", I did my crying and stuff like that and then prayed just for an answer and some guidance. Later that night, at around 11:00 pm, my cell phone starts ringing and when I picked it up it was her. I was kinda stunned that she would be calling me so soon after breaking up with me, but I answered the phone and gave her a friednly hello (I didin't want her to think I was totally devestated, even though I was inside). She said that she wanted to know if that we could still be friends, or if that was over too after what happened today. I told her that I would want to be her friend, but I felt that we both needed some space (and I told her that she keeps telling she wants space) and that maybe the friendship should be held off for a while. She then told me that she had some things that she wanted to say, especially since she didn't want me to be so confused anymore. And I as I thought, I over analized the situation in which I thought there was another guy. She explained the whole situation to me. The night in the car, the guy was her manager and he walked her to her car because it was parked in the dark part of the lot and was out by itself. As soon as they got to her car, she offered him a ride to his car since it was on the other side of the lot. They got in the car, started it and went to his car. She told me that she didn't see my truck, and wasn't trying to avoid me if that's what I thought. Then she told me that on the next night, when I told her it looked like she was telling a guy that she would meet him at the show, she told me that she was telling him (and another guy and girl behind them) to come and meet me, but they didn't really want too (the guy was trying to move in, but that's later). She also told me that she wasn't interested in meeting a new person, nor does she even have feelings for another person, it's just that she feels that we moved really fast in our 2 years together and we need to be able to not be so "dependent" on each other. She told me that when she was at work today (the day that we broke up) that one of the guys at her work found out and was trying to "sweet" talk her and flirt with her. She told him that she wasn't interested and to leave her alone. So I felt a bit better knowing that I was wrong about the situation, and that I looked to far into some of the issues. She also wasn't upset with how I analyzed the situation either, since she said from my point of view I was justified to think that, especially since she was having a hard time trying to figure the words she needed to say to me about the break.

She then talked about the break, and told me that she didn't really know what words to use without hurting my feelings and that's why she said she needed to break up with me. In actuality, all she wanted is for me to understand that we don't need to spend every minute of our free time together just to prove that we love each other. She was saying that we were both being a bit overbearing (and she said that's the word she was thinking when she said smothered) with each other, since neither of us could be content with time not spent with each other, when we should be able to know that we love each other even if we don't see each other for a few days. So again, it was nice to know how she felt about things, as well as clearing things up that were causing some confusion between us.

But this is still causing some confusion on my side. Since she says that she wants some time for herself and to do her own thing (and wants me to have the same) but she still wants to see me and talk to me (she was even asking if we could spend my b-day together next week). I kinda told her that we needed to take things one day at a time, and that I felt that we needed to spend the time apart that she wanted. I told her if we started seeing each other soon again, as well as kept talking to each other almost everyday (we have still talked to each other everday since the break started) that she wouldn't get that "space" that she needed, and it would just make things worse later on in our lives. So I told her that maybe we shouldn't see each other for a few days, just to get that space needed, and that we should restrict our calls (or her calls since she has called me more often now) until it's something that really needs to be discussed. She was okay with everything, and also agreed that she really didn't know what she wanted in terms of time apart, and time with me, and that taking our time and spending some time apart is going to help both of us.

So I guess things are kinda up in the air right now between us, and I guess that even though we are on a "break" we are still "together" (since she kept making it really clear that she wasn't interested in meeting anyone new, nor was anyone new going to enter her life). Well I guess that's that, and I got to get going since church starts in a little bit. Thanks guys, and I'll just keep everyone informed as things go on (plus this is really helpful for me to get things out of my head).

10-31-2004, 08:34 AM	#18
Switch187 Registered User Join Date: Oct 2004 Posts: 8	Ashaman once again your right about the situation. Although I sat and analized things from my point of view, I still didn't know her side and how she thought about it. So another thing happened last night, and I know that things have been flip floping lateley between me and her, but after we had "broken up", I did my crying and stuff like that and then prayed just for an answer and some guidance. Later that night, at around 11:00 pm, my cell phone starts ringing and when I picked it up it was her. I was kinda stunned that she would be calling me so soon after breaking up with me, but I answered the phone and gave her a friednly hello (I didin't want her to think I was totally devestated, even though I was inside). She said that she wanted to know if that we could still be friends, or if that was over too after what happened today. I told her that I would want to be her friend, but I felt that we both needed some space (and I told her that she keeps telling she wants space) and that maybe the friendship should be held off for a while. She then told me that she had some things that she wanted to say, especially since she didn't want me to be so confused anymore. And I as I thought, I over analized the situation in which I thought there was another guy. She explained the whole situation to me. The night in the car, the guy was her manager and he walked her to her car because it was parked in the dark part of the lot and was out by itself. As soon as they got to her car, she offered him a ride to his car since it was on the other side of the lot. They got in the car, started it and went to his car. She told me that she didn't see my truck, and wasn't trying to avoid me if that's what I thought. Then she told me that on the next night, when I told her it looked like she was telling a guy that she would meet him at the show, she told me that she was telling him (and another guy and girl behind them) to come and meet me, but they didn't really want too (the guy was trying to move in, but that's later). She also told me that she wasn't interested in meeting a new person, nor does she even have feelings for another person, it's just that she feels that we moved really fast in our 2 years together and we need to be able to not be so "dependent" on each other. She told me that when she was at work today (the day that we broke up) that one of the guys at her work found out and was trying to "sweet" talk her and flirt with her. She told him that she wasn't interested and to leave her alone. So I felt a bit better knowing that I was wrong about the situation, and that I looked to far into some of the issues. She also wasn't upset with how I analyzed the situation either, since she said from my point of view I was justified to think that, especially since she was having a hard time trying to figure the words she needed to say to me about the break. She then talked about the break, and told me that she didn't really know what words to use without hurting my feelings and that's why she said she needed to break up with me. In actuality, all she wanted is for me to understand that we don't need to spend every minute of our free time together just to prove that we love each other. She was saying that we were both being a bit overbearing (and she said that's the word she was thinking when she said smothered) with each other, since neither of us could be content with time not spent with each other, when we should be able to know that we love each other even if we don't see each other for a few days. So again, it was nice to know how she felt about things, as well as clearing things up that were causing some confusion between us. But this is still causing some confusion on my side. Since she says that she wants some time for herself and to do her own thing (and wants me to have the same) but she still wants to see me and talk to me (she was even asking if we could spend my b-day together next week). I kinda told her that we needed to take things one day at a time, and that I felt that we needed to spend the time apart that she wanted. I told her if we started seeing each other soon again, as well as kept talking to each other almost everyday (we have still talked to each other everday since the break started) that she wouldn't get that "space" that she needed, and it would just make things worse later on in our lives. So I told her that maybe we shouldn't see each other for a few days, just to get that space needed, and that we should restrict our calls (or her calls since she has called me more often now) until it's something that really needs to be discussed. She was okay with everything, and also agreed that she really didn't know what she wanted in terms of time apart, and time with me, and that taking our time and spending some time apart is going to help both of us. So I guess things are kinda up in the air right now between us, and I guess that even though we are on a "break" we are still "together" (since she kept making it really clear that she wasn't interested in meeting anyone new, nor was anyone new going to enter her life). Well I guess that's that, and I got to get going since church starts in a little bit. Thanks guys, and I'll just keep everyone informed as things go on (plus this is really helpful for me to get things out of my head).