Why do we have two threads in here

[XRogue]

about women and what's wrong with them and NONE about men and how they are toads? Has anyone got a gripe about the men in their lives?

[KitZune]

Yes, I had the misfortune of being born as one!

[Stang]

Give me til about the middle of the week and Im sure BJ will have done something stupid and then Ill come in here and bitch away :D .

Yeah we need a thread about Men. :p

[Ambush_Bug]

C'mon, you can't just whip up a thread from mid-air? There's enough man-crimes floating around out there that you should never run out of material! :D

We smell. We grunt. We make strange noises at the most inopportune times. We sometimes, just for the sheer hell of it, wear our trousers two days in a row. Never the underwear, though... we got more class than that. :)

We wonder how it is that women, almost invariably, look great in our clothes. We don't understand perfume and its myriad secrets. Same for lipstick... in fact, we wish you gals would stop wearing it so often... looks nice, but it's murder on our shirt collars.

We listen to the little head too much of the time. (Yes, that implies there are times when we willingly let the little head do te thinking---vigorous sex would be one of those times)

We belch. Some of us (and these fellows are quietly revered above all men) can belch on command. Those that can fart on command immediately receive a seat on the Joint Chiefs, just for being cool. Yes, these are talents. :D

We like to tinker with things... never put a man in a junkyard when he has access to duct tape and welding equipment.

Did I meantion that we smell? That sometimes we don't shave because we want to feel more primitive?

Oh, and where the hell did all this 'fashion' crap come from? And why has it corrupted some men from France and turned them into turtleneck-wearing, hand-flopping, parfum-designing, money-swindling bastards that can't figure out that gluing odd pieces of plastic to a woman's chest does NOT make for good-looking clothes? Hint: at least make the pieces of plastic conform and enhance, as well as being comfortable looking. I hate groping sculptures. The firm curve of a woman's breast, to us, is meant to be shaped and handled with the utmost respect and care, not made into a political statement with fake plastic extension nipples disguised as 'wings' on the runway.

Oh yeah, another mortal sin. We are hairy. In all the wrong places. In fact, a place you women said was supposed to be hairy (our chest) is now, for some reason, supposed to be smooth. Excuse me? Do you have any idea how much it sucks trying to shave one's chest hair? No thanks, I'll stick with my 'Sean Connery' style hairy chest.

And we have beards. This is also a mortal sin for some reason. A mortal sin which I completely and happily ignore. Learn the pleasures of a full and fluffy beard in the winter before you condemn the hair on our faces. (And shaving one's face is a chore we like to have a break from for a season, too... we bet you're just jealous. :D )

There, got enough material to work with now? :D (This is, o' course, tongue-in-cheek)

[XRogue]

Hey, if you are taking a break from shaving to grow a beard, go ahead. I would think that would insulate your face nicely. All we ask is that you do not turn around and complain if the lady in your life just happens to take a break from shaving her legs about the same time. Sauce for the gander....well, ya get the idea.

As for high fashion, among those who can afford it there are two groups, those with the lack of brains to actually WEAR everything that Versace puts out, whether it suits them or not, and those with both money and sufficient taste to pick things that are actually attractive and flattering. This second group are the actual leaders of fashion. (The Duchess of Windsor and Princess Di come to mind, should you need examples.)

As to bodily emanations and the desire, shall we say, to get funky, feel free. Just understand that since women actually like to smell nice, those will likely be the times that we take a break from your society and go elsewhere. No we do not like to cuddle with you when you are feeling primitive. Warm does not equal clean

We don't understand you either. Least of all do we understand why you do not value us.