XRogue
07-25-2001, 06:26 PM
1.Titanic's big, but it doesn't have hyperdrive.
2.Leia is a senator, a princess,a freedom fighter and has Jedi potential, Rose is just marriage bait
3.Ewoks throw better parties than first class *or* steerage
4.When flying toward the Titanic, Wedge can't say, "Look at the size of that thing!" and really mean it.
5.It would be much scarier to get chased around the boat by a madman waving a lightsaber as opposed to a guy with no aim waving a handgun
6.Titanic is egalitarian by portraying poor people as sympathetic characters. Star Wars by promoting a bug eyed amphibious alien to Admiral
7.Said bugeyed amphibious Admiral manages NOT to lose his ship
8.We know Cal is the bad guy because he sneers at the poor and treats his fiancee like property. We know Darth Vader is the bad guy because he can strangle people without even using his hands and blows up whole planets for fun. Take your pick.
9.There are always enough escape pods in Star Wars.
10.Yeah, Leo can dance, but can he fly an X-Wing?
11. People have not lost their lives trying to recreate scenes from Star Wars on the bow of a cruise liner.
12.Rose braves icy water to rescue her man. Leia offs Jabba the Hutt
13.Two words:John Williams
14.Do you know what the Empire does to self-proclaimed "kings of the world"?
15.If Luke were handcuffed to a pipe belowdecks in a sinking ship, he'd use the Force to get the key
16.Heck, Yoda would just lift the boat out of the water with the Force.
17."I'd rather be his whore than your wife" just doesn't have the same sting as "I'd just as soon kiss a Wookie"
18.We knew the boat was gonna sink. But who anticipated "Luke.... I am your father."
19.And finally...Han Solo would've missed the dang iceberg!
2.Leia is a senator, a princess,a freedom fighter and has Jedi potential, Rose is just marriage bait
3.Ewoks throw better parties than first class *or* steerage
4.When flying toward the Titanic, Wedge can't say, "Look at the size of that thing!" and really mean it.
5.It would be much scarier to get chased around the boat by a madman waving a lightsaber as opposed to a guy with no aim waving a handgun
6.Titanic is egalitarian by portraying poor people as sympathetic characters. Star Wars by promoting a bug eyed amphibious alien to Admiral
7.Said bugeyed amphibious Admiral manages NOT to lose his ship
8.We know Cal is the bad guy because he sneers at the poor and treats his fiancee like property. We know Darth Vader is the bad guy because he can strangle people without even using his hands and blows up whole planets for fun. Take your pick.
9.There are always enough escape pods in Star Wars.
10.Yeah, Leo can dance, but can he fly an X-Wing?
11. People have not lost their lives trying to recreate scenes from Star Wars on the bow of a cruise liner.
12.Rose braves icy water to rescue her man. Leia offs Jabba the Hutt
13.Two words:John Williams
14.Do you know what the Empire does to self-proclaimed "kings of the world"?
15.If Luke were handcuffed to a pipe belowdecks in a sinking ship, he'd use the Force to get the key
16.Heck, Yoda would just lift the boat out of the water with the Force.
17."I'd rather be his whore than your wife" just doesn't have the same sting as "I'd just as soon kiss a Wookie"
18.We knew the boat was gonna sink. But who anticipated "Luke.... I am your father."
19.And finally...Han Solo would've missed the dang iceberg!