the best thing that has ever happened to me

[yak]

sarah (doomkitty) cheated on me and broke up with me again. i had fallen on some hard times and had been staying with her at her parents house. when she broke up with me and left me for my close friend, she kicked me out of the house. i got really mad and punched a tree, which caused me to break one of my knuckles. im now staying at a close friends house. i reset my broken knuckle myself. wow that hurt. i spent last night with monica, one of the really hot cocktail waitresses from where i work. needless to say i dont miss her. since i hit bottom, the only way to go is up. btw Harrah's Chester Casino and Racetrack is about to approve the union contract for the maintenance shop...yay!!!! big raise soon. it looks like this was the best thing to ever happen to me..

P.S. sorry for the mini novel i had a lot on my mind.


:hammy: :rofl: :2lol: :rofl: :hammy:

[XRogue]

Nothing wrong with writing a novel when you're mad. May as well get it all out, no?

[yak]

i wasn't as mad when i wrote that as you might think, i actually feel sorry for her. Ive never been happier, except that ive sort of forgotten what it is like to be single again. lol

[Stang]

Thats what the bitch pit is for to tell novels and get things off your chest.

I'm glad you found that you are happier and can move on. Especially when someone does something like that to you. Keep your head up yak your going to better. Everyone has hard times in their lives and eventually make it out.

Now go have fun being single! :D

[Aluscia]

Welcome back to the bachelor-fold.

[yak]

Thank you all, but it will still take me a little bit of time to be ready emotionaly for a relationship. Everyday Im geting better though. BTW working at a casino and being young and single brings everyone around. I went around for the first 3 1/2 month telling everyone that im engaged. I averaged 2 people hitting on me a night . Now that im single im averaging about 15+ a night.:yup: Not to sound like a pig, but most of the cocktail waitresses are really hot...so at least i wont be lonely while i gather the peices of my heart.

[XRogue]

Good that you're looking up. :)

[Aluscia]

As long as you're honest about not being ready for something serious, have all the fun you can :) If someone is genuinely looking for a relationship, they will avoid you.

[yak]

I dont even really feel like going out and having fun. Ive almost reverted back to what I was before I met her. Before i met her I stayed inside all the time except to go to work and school. I went a year and a half from the previous relationship to the one with sarah. I didnt mind being alone. I had some more fun with the same cocktail waitress from the other night, It didnt affect me. I was a loner before I met her i think i should be a loner again. ( me thinking positive...lol)

[yak]

i just had a talk with sarah online. it didnt go so well. i started crying in the middle of it and havent stopped yet. i hate to say it but, i still love her. im not as over her as i thought. im thinking this is going to be harder than i first thought. ive cried more in the last week and a half than in the rest of my life. The only ones i have to comfort me is you guys, but it doesnt help much. i need a shoulder to cry on, there is no one here for that. i never knew how much i loved her until it was over. shes not even sorry for doing it.it getting harder to see the keyboard, so i think i should go to sleep. i never knew i could hurt this bad. sorry for this post i just need to get it off my chest. after the 2nd day i was fine until now


i guess this wasnt the best thing to happen to me

[XRogue]

Yes, it is the best thing. Because now you know what she's all about and she's gone. I've been in your position and I know. (Long story, but take it from me, don't take her back. It won't be worth it.)

[yak]

i still have feelings for her, but said earlier that i wouldnt take her back. im staying single for a while. i dont know how long yet.

[Aluscia]

Wait, is she even interested in getting back with you? Put that bitch down (literally). Move on, get a new perspective. Figure out whether you're sitll interested after the whole thing has cooled down, but don't even think about it now... it's not worth it.

[Stang]

It will be hard for awhile but stay strong you don't need someone that doesnt even feel bad for doing something to a loved one like that. Of course you are still going to feel in love with her but it will go away. Just don't take her back! Or we will have to hurt you :p. Until you find that shoulder to cry on keep coming here and letting it out. Its not good to keep it in.

Hang in there Yak

[XRogue]

We mean that, man. Use us for help and get help in RL too. Do NOT take her back. I tried that once, and it so does not work. (Long time ago, obviously, not a current situation. :p)

Aluscia and Stang are right. Hang in there and don't even be around her. She's not even sorry.

[XMEN Ashaman DTM]

You're feeling like taking her back for a couple of reasons: familiarity and for some reason, you thought you were in love.

From what you've said, she's a flake/liar and isn't even worth glancing at as you keep walking on your path.


I've never been in that particular kind of situation. But YOU are not strong enough to dictate events on your terms if you take her back. You think you loved her, and maybe you did. But you also have to realize that you are still young and yes, hormones play a role at your age. If you can't 100% unconditionally trust her, then why waste time thinking about her.


I have a friend from grad school who had a wife that went to school in Florida (we were at the UW in Seattle). He went out to meet her for Christmas, and found her cheating on him. They were married. That was hard on him, and I'm glad he could come and talk to me and a couple of other people about it. But he was perfectly correct by NOT trying to work things out. Once that trust is gone, it's gone. He ended up graduating, and working in Arizona; he got married and has a son who is almost a year old (I think).

Long story short: you can do better. And if you keep meeting people, you'll run into someone that's worth your effort.

[yak]

im sorry guys, but i guess you will have to hurt me. i took her back. im giving her one last chance. she seemed truly sorry when i went over to get my mail. i dont know if i made the right choice yet. if i didnt i suppose i can grace the bitch pit again with my presence...lol

[XRogue]

Who gets to strangle yak?

[yak]

yeah, i know but i love her. so strangle away.

[Stang]

All of us, we will take turns

[yak]

i am only giving her one last chance. but since you feel that you must strangle me, go ahead(i cant say that i wont enjoy it)

[LoS-NutzholzWolf]

She' hasn't changed Yak. From what I have read here, you have been kind to her and understanding but she has abused your friendship repeatedly.

What makes you think she has changed if she didn't change after the first time? How many times must she hurt you before you say 'no more'? If she really cared for you then why would she use your close friend behind your back? Here is probably the most important question: why did she come back after having already kicked you out, hurt you, and continued to see your friend?

Think about it, what is it she's after? A friend? A stable base? A play thing? Someone who lets her have her way? Someone she nows how to toy with? Why did she leave the other guy so soon? Why did she come back to you after having tossed gasoline and fire onto it the relationship?

Yak, take a few moments and answer these question to yourself and answer every question that enters your mind that a rise. Don't answer for her by rationalizing her actions, but take them as her own answers to the question. From the actions of that night she kicked you out to the things she said to get you back hides the truth about why she is doing this. Either it can be fixed and your relationship can continue with no more problems or in most cases your two personalities have a subtle difference that can never let you two be together happy.

[XRogue]

Yak, dude, it's not that we are mad, it's just we don't want to see you hurt. Aren't you tired of living with this? And you say you love her, but to Nutz's excellent questions, I will add one more. Does she love YOU? Think on it. Is this loving behavior from her?

All of what Nutz has said, plus does this person love you, is what I once had to ask myself, and take my word, if I'd not walked away then, I'd have ruined my life. Don't go down this road, you already know what's at the end of it.

[Stang]

Exactly we arent mad we are just trying to help you see what is happening. I think if you really wanted her back, which I wouldn't have done, then some rules should have been set and taken things VERY slowly that way you don't get hurt and if you see hit coming AGAIN you can call the shots. Or you should be calling the shots if she is EVER to get your trust back.

It just sucks to hear of all this and then you turn around and take her back. We want whats best for you and for you to enjoy what its all about to have someone love YOU and both of you be loved. I guess the actions will show what will happen for you guys. Just be careful Yak.

[yak]

i realize that i will probobly be hurt again. i dont know if i will trust her for a while. but i love her more than anything, so i will at least give her one last chance. dont worry, i know that you are all trying to help me to not be hurt, im just a fool.its as simple as that. ive had other girlfriends, but ive never felt whole around them. until i met her ive never truly been able to mean it when i say i love you.:imu:

[XRogue]

You can't be depending on another person to make you whole. People will always let you down in one way or another, and I have to say, this way is pretty bad.

[Aluscia]

I echo previous statements :(

I've hit the bottom of the barrel in terms of love before. I have some understanding of it (especially with what happened to my parents when I was 18). I know cheating, and I know the motivations/desire for familiarity. I will say it again, just because everyone else is saying it. Once she's broken the trust, there's nothing to say that she won't do it again. Does she really care enough about you? Guilt does not equal concern, nor love, nor fidelity.

Your life is yours to live, that's for certain... just trying to shed some light on it from all the gloom we've encountered in similar positions.

[yak]

i have ben thinking about how to say this without rambling on... im not sure if i made the right choice by taking her back. this will sound weird, but i love her more than my swords(im a swordsman by trade after work). only time will tell if things have changed. i do thank all of you for your concern.

[yak]

yay a new developement

sarah fell into her cheating ways. i was expecting it but something good came out of it. i met this girl April on the game i play, Maplestory. we really hit it off and i really like her in rl. im hoping to make this relationship work better than the last one:yup: lol anyways i guess this shouldnt be posted here cuz its not a bytch gripe or maon.lol

[Stang]

YAY! Glad to see things turning around for you :). Best wishes!

[yak]

thx stang. just to make everything sound better, april is really wanting to get involved in my hobbies :lol

i also wanted to thank eveyone for being there for me the last time i know i wasnt really in the right frame of mind to listen but i really wanted to thank all of u guys for caring:touchmonk