Why I hate Pride.

[Aluscia]

It's Pride week in Toronto... the time that we, an invisible minority, get thrust into public conciousness by the media who only reports on the extreme/abnormal parts of our subculture who only crawl out from under their rocks this time of year (or 'drag' dreadful clothing out of their closets to show off in the big parade on Sunday).

My gradual disdain for Pride has grown every year since I came out (this is year 4). At first, it was a novelty... like having everything you thought you were only daydreaming about appear before you in reality, from the drop-dead gorgeous to the god-awful fugly. I marched in the parade my first year, with the members of my church who really helped me feel safe to identify with the Gay community. I saw people that I knew from High School in the crowds as I walked by. I wasn't afraid, and some waved at me. It was good. Ever since then, however, as my confidence with myself and who I am has risen, I'm beginning to really despise the image the parade sends about me, about my preferences, and about what the world at large views, or wants to view, us as.

No, we are not a bunch of cross-dressing faggots (all the time). No, we do not wear leather chaps and thongs (all the time). No, we are not all muscle marys (some may wish they were). No, we are not all club-circuit twinks (some may wish we were). The parade (and Pride in general) really does provide a huge cross-section of the Gay community... and yet, it's the *only* time the media/people are insterested in us. Unless it's about Same-Sex marriage... which I will not discuss.

I'm sick of it, because I consider myself a fairly 'normal' person. I don't have anything about me that absolutely fags me out. I carry a stylish bag that goes well with the clothes I choose to wear. I like pink accessories, but usually only in connection with Hello Kitty (my wallet and changepurse are both Hello Kitty). I don't have excessive limp wrist or a lisp. I don't discuss fashion all day and when my next manicure/pedicure is. I'm tired.... Pride really is all about the stereotypes, and ramming them down consumer whores' throats. "Oh, those hot Gay guys from the home design shows are wearing this... lets go buy blahblah..."

I am proud to be who I am, every day of every month of every year. I don't need a ******* special day to say this, and I don't appreciate the attention people give me, or the expectations people have of me after being exposed to this. The whole thing gives people a false impression that because they've *seen* the extremes, they know what my lifestyle is all about; They know exactly where I'm coming from by watching the drag queens throw candy at the crowds, or the shirtless hunks spray the crowd down with supersoakers. All I have to say to you (if you feel this way) is **** you. Get real. You wanna know where I'm coming from? Talk to me. No one is the same as his neighbour, and that goes for every person, gay straight bi lesbo trans celibate.



The only thing I have to say in defense of Pride is that the people who worked really hard to make the public so concious and, I hesitate to say, "accepting" deserve a chance to be recognized on a large level for the hard work they've put in. I *do not* agree with what Pride has turned into. I don't think it's necessary in this day and age, and only serves to reinforce all of the negative opinions people have of us "sexual deviants"

[sh@rp]

Tbh with you I really don't know what to say... but... only reason im posting is..
I like pink accessories, but usually only in connection with Hello Kitty (my wallet and changepurse are both Hello Kitty)"


I wear some pink outfits and what not... Im pretty preppy and a longsleeve pink button up over a nice pink t-shirt is fine by me... I dunno about everywhere else but around here people have just become so used to guys that wear pink they don't think of gay anymore... at first if you wore pink everyone would be laughin at you and what not (highschool) but now everyone is wearing it lol so ya. Pretty much what all this blubber is about is that pink is not necessarily associated with gays.

EDIT: Not gay btw

[Raiyven]

EDIT: Sh@rp beat me to posting, i'm not responding to him :p

Well put.

I think the concept of Pride itself is noble; the simply be proud and secure of who you are, what you want to be, who you want to be, and the lifestyle you want to lead. Take pride in being yourself, without the overwhelming worry of ostracisation or hatred furled upon you by the narrow minded. Be proud of being yourself.

Unfortunately, as you said, most people look at the gay community and expect to see a lisping, limp-wristed man or a butchy buzz-cut woman. That stereotype, as all stereotypes do, destroy the individualism of those within the community because gays one and all get branded with that same image as a form of insult. Some of it gets worse and turns to violence, as you well know.

With regards to what you said about the changed face of Pride, i understand what you're saying in that all it has succeeded to do now is promote that stereotype, and rightly so it infuriates you, because you as a living representative of that community get imaged as someone you aren't, and in doing so, it destroys that fundamental principle of what i think Pride is meant to be, an expression of individualism. It, in that capacity, ceases to function.

No matter what happens, universal acceptance won't ever be attained throughout every society in the world. There will, unfortunately, always be someone who will want to do or think otherwise, it's just the way of the human race (stupid as it can be most often). But i think the important step in garnering acceptance of the gay community in the face of religious-based intolerance (lets face it, the whole damn problem is based on the goddamn bible) is not to try and convince everyone at once, but just a few people. Just knowing you and growing up with you through high school and after has given me this realization that not everyone is this stereotype, that everyone regardless of creed or sexual preference is an individual, and i feel stronger for having been able to come to realize that acceptance through knowing you as an individual.

please don't get me wrong in saying that not having known personally a member of the gay community is an excuse for hatred. there is never an excuse whatsoever for any kind of prejudice

[SiFi]

Aluscia = Friend
End of File

*edit by Alu* Thanks, SiFi... Your simple, yet extremely profound black-and-white friendship is such a comfort to me... I know everyone who has you as a friend feels the same way!

[XRogue]

I understand your feelings entirely, Aluscia. :( I'm sorry you feel Pride has been ruined for you. ((Alu))


Hey, Rai, lay off, I'm one of those supposed religious bigots you're complaining about, and I think Aluscia can tell you I've never been nasty to her on the matter whatsoever.

[Aluscia]

It's alright... I survived the scorn from the gay community, and all is well. Now I'm just dealing with having had both side of my toenail removed at the same time ><...... hurts so much ;_;

[Raiyven]

sorry XRogue, i didn't mean any offense to the religious; i often forget that my generally non-religious nature sometimes and it does inadvertantly drive religious arguments, and now that i see i've done the same and offended you i duly apologise, it wasn't my intent.

I know well enough not to brand all pious people with the same brush that way, but unfortunately recently witnessing a gay friend at school have food thrown at her by members of one of the Christian religious clubs, along with a string of Scripture, has soured me a little.

again, no offense intended, i actually do have a great deal of respect for those who follow a religion. I just get upset when some use it as an excuse :/

[Aluscia]

Ah McMaster.... too awesome! <3 There's always the subversive Dave campaign too...

[XRogue]

That's ok, Raiyven, I'm oversensitive on the matter just now, for other reasons, and I jumped too quick. I'm sorry, shouldn't have snapped at you.

BTW, the kids in that club don't deserve to call themselves Christian. And I can understand why you'd feel as you do.

Both sides of your toenail, Laur? Owch. :( Infection?

[Aluscia]

Yes. Super fun!

[XRogue]

No doubt.