Wtf?!?!?!?!

[XRogue]

Looks like we are similar there. Chin up, you are on the right path with that attitude.

[Stang]

Yeah but dont get hurt too much by others or you'll turn into a mean person. Your too sweet to go down that road. Just stand up for yourself and people will understand, hopefully.

[Israfel]

I like that ideal, I really do... but you know what they say: "Spare the rod, and spoil the child." Some people in this crazy world need a smack upside the head every once in awhile. (ME in particular) The voice of authority is the only think keeping this from total chaos. You can't be nice to repeat offenders, knowing that they will just do it over, and over again... They need to be set right, then you won't ever have to suffer their attacks again.

[XMEN Ashaman DTM]

I don't know about single parent families.

I was raised by my dad, since my mom skipped town. I didn't have too rough of a time, but my sister did. She didn't have a mom to look up to, or talk about things with, and I think that it kind of messed her up. People need balance in their lives, IMHO.
I'm not saying that it's not possible to have normal kids if you are a single parent. Just that the odds are seriously stacked against you.

Single moms with sons are not good, because the sons will most likely grow up to be pansies. Or have the wrong ideas about what it means to be a man. Boys need a father figure, just as much as girls need a mother figure. I've seen it in some of my friends, and was starting to see how it could happen with my nephew.

It pisses me off that people are so selfish or have such huge egos that they think they can raise a perfectly healthy child by themself. The only time that I can see how parent would not want the influence of the child's other parent, is if that person is a bad influence.
If two people can't be responsible enough to put a raincoat on, then they shouldn't have sex. I think that too many people think that sex is a right...when I am leaning more towards it being a priviledge. Certain people should not have their genes passed on. Period.

And I'm not talking about marriage. I'm talking about both parents having the balls to step up to the plate to care for the child. They don't have to be married...but they damn well better raise their child. Stupid idiots and their irresponsible behavior! >:


BUT...
In hindsight, I'm mad and happy that my mom didn't stick around to help raise me. She is my mom...yet she skipped town at the custody hearing (when I was about 4 or so). And she has some pretty messed up thought processes, from the little that I have talked to her and what my sister had told me of her time with my mom last year. So I can say that I'm glad that my life doesn't involve her. I would probably be a different person if she had any input on my development.
But, I'm also mad, because my mom chickened out and didn't ever want to help raise my sister and I. I tried to help my dad with my sister whenever he was at work; just watching out for her. Making sure she had her toys, and later, making sure no one picked on her at school. That makes a person grow up pretty quick. But I feel kind of at fault for how my sister turned out. It makes me really sad. I realize that I wasn't very old, and probably couldn't have done any better given the chance to do it over again. But still....

There were a few years that really sucked. Then my dad met my step mom, and things turned out alright for me. But my sister didn't really like her (like a typical teenager; angry at the world).



Well, that's a little window into my life. I'm off at college, finishing a master's degree. While my sister is enjoying herself (as far as anyone can tell) down in oregon, dabbling a bit in drugs, raising a kid, and apparently trying to get the kid's father to treat her decently, yet also letting the guy be a part of my nephew's life. Pretty weird. And I think it's in large part due to the fact that my sister didn't have a mom for a part of her life, and didn't connect with her step mom on that level.

[Stang]

Wow thanks for sharing that Asha. Im sorry to hear your mom didnt stick around and took the cheap way out, but you know what her damn loss man. Shes not going to change so be there for your sister when you can, which it seems you always have which is so sweet. There should be more men out there like you . I wish your sis had a mother figure around to be there for her cuz I to agree that both a daughter and son need both sets of parents or things will go downhill.

I had a rough life but not because my parents werent there, they have always been. My Dad now is my stepdad but I dont consider him that way, I dont know my real father cuz my mom had a one night stand and here I am , he is my father he has been there for me even if he has a hard head sometimes. My problems where before my Mom met my Dad ( dont need to go into that, hate thingy about it cuz it scares me of what could have happened).

You phrased it really well Asha, pretty much what I believe.

[XRogue]

My dad was raised by his mother after his father died when he was not quite 7. Turned out ok, but his mom made sure he had a male mentor (Coach at the school) to help out. May have been for the best in their case, I hear some harsh things about Dad's father. My take on it-I'm glad I grew up in a 2 parent family, but I also know single parent ones can do alright, they just need to work at it more and from different angles.

Thanks for sharing, guys.

[Cerberus]

no one should feel bad about judgeing someone, I think I have said this before, but it's really how you formulate opinions, and deal with people. You could even say that if you were a religious person and believe you are created in Gods image then Judgeing is part or how you were made. (God judges, that being part of the image you were created after.) THat is if you believe that sort of thing.

[Cerberus]

oh yeah, my parents were married in Aug '76 i was born in Feb '77 you do the math.

[Aluscia]

Heh... I'm sorry for you, Asha... But really, I think I would have turned out a lot better if my mother *hadn't* stuck around... instead, they're getting divorced now, after all the damage of a broken marriage for my whole life. I am who I am... and I have no doubt in my mind that I am as God wants me to be. It's been hard, however... growing up, and not being able to trust your parents because your mother has problems, and your dad's a snitch and tells everything you confide in him to your mother.

I am gay. I am happy as who I am. I understand now that some of you will look at me differently, maybe even dismiss my opinions as *pansy* mis-information. I don't care. I refuse to live a facade, even in this internet world... Do I think that part of the reason I like other men is because of my mother being so dominant and my father being submissive? yes. But not all... I have always been more feminine than masculine. So yes and no... sometimes it's better just to put the kid up for adoption... I've seen success and horror stories, same as kids who've been forced to stay with abusive parents.

[XRogue]

I don't think of your opinions in those terms, Laur, and I don't blame you for not wanting to keep a facade. every time I tried to live one, I've ended up despising myself.

((((((((((((((((((Laur))))))))))))))))))))

[Ghryphen]

Originally posted by Laurelin
I understand now that some of you will look at me differently...

NEVARRR!!!

[Stang]

You know Id never do that to you Laurelin since I have known for a while now. I dont care about your sexuality, I care about you cuz your a great person to talk to. Im glad you where finally able to come out with it.

Always love ya

[Israfel]

Heh, that's news to me too.

[XMEN Ashaman DTM]

I won't look at you differently Laur. Unless you steal something from me, or kill someone. But that's not likely. Okay?


And I hate to sound rude, but I think it may have been best for your parents to break up a long time ago. I never advocated staying together...if one parent isn't qualified, they should break up. It's the parent's responsibility to provide the best environment they can for their child, and realize when they can't.

I know that if my mom would have stayed around I would probably be one hell of a messed up guy.

[Aluscia]

Thanks Asha... I completely agree with you. My mother is a cheating ho-bag, and who really knows if she's been faithful all this time or not? Just because her habits have come to light now doesn't mean she couldn't have been doing this for some time...
At any rate, I've rambled and bitched enough about this. She's leaving now, I can start my life anew with a father who's just starting to realise that "It's not right, but it's ok... He's gonna make it anyway." My sis is the one who's most hurt by this seperation... I've seen it coming on the horizon for years now.

PS - Who says you aren't messed up as you are Asha, lol