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Old 01-06-2005, 12:07 PM   #1
Ghryphen
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Don't ask me why it says Only in America, I'm sure that is a fib, but here goes:
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ONLY IN AMERICA:

Only in America.....do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

Only in America......do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke. !

Only in America.......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

Only in America......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

Only in America.......do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.

Only in America.......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

EVER WONDER ....

Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed? !

Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?

Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
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Old 01-06-2005, 01:13 PM   #2
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All valid points, and very funny, except for the Black Box part: it's made out of titanium, and a plane made out of titanium would be too heavy to fly. It might even be so heavy that the fuselage would tear and the whole thing would come apart of the runway
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Old 01-06-2005, 03:35 PM   #3
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but not if you make the ribs out of titanium and the skin out of aluminum, then install slighly more powerful engines.

and they are all good points of things that happen only in america, but you forgot one....
ONLY IN AMERICA can a moron be elected to office.
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Old 01-06-2005, 03:50 PM   #4
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Um, titanium is LIGHT. It's also very expensive. And is often used in an alloy for the aircraft anyway.

And Yak, only in America do we have the opportunity to choose which moron we want!
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Old 01-06-2005, 04:00 PM   #5
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Why is that canadians say aboot, are they really that facinated with boots that they had to replace about with aboot? What aboot that?
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Old 01-07-2005, 07:43 AM   #6
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WE DON'T SAY ABOOT ARRRRGGHGHRHASGHRGARGHGR
You crazy people ... you hear things when we're talkin' we don't say aboot.


but we DO say "eh?"
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Old 01-07-2005, 07:57 AM   #7
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A lot of the fasteners in the airplanes are titanium, but most everything is aluminum. titanium is heavier than aluminum.
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Old 01-07-2005, 10:13 AM   #8
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Too funny! I think the garage one is the funniest! I can't even find our bikes in there. Yikes! Have to spring clean!!!
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Old 01-07-2005, 11:26 AM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KitZune
WE DON'T SAY ABOOT ARRRRGGHGHRHASGHRGARGHGR
You crazy people ... you hear things when we're talkin' we don't say aboot.


but we DO say "eh?"
SouthPark says ya guys do, and thats enough for me
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Old 01-07-2005, 03:21 PM   #10
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Old 01-07-2005, 05:32 PM   #11
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South park also said that we go to war with hockey sticks and...some sort of heavy weapon, it's been a while since I saw the movie
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Old 01-07-2005, 06:36 PM   #12
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i watched it 1-3 am on new years day on comedy centrals secret stash :-P
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Old 01-08-2005, 10:56 AM   #13
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Actually, most of the metal in a plane is titanium. Anything that bears a load on a plane (landing gear, wing mounts, etc), is titanium. The skin and most of the support structure is aluminum, and the rest is either composite or plastic.
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