Being a civilian week 1...

[Variable]

How you people can continue to exist is beyond me. Everything inside me that is still military is revolting against this new social dynamic I'm being forced into. It wouldn't be so bad if I was in a new place, but no, I had to go right back to where I used to work, with all the familiar faces, but not having any rank on my shoulder. I feel wrong. I got called "Sir" today by the new CO of my old unit. He looked confused when almost an entire platoon of his Marines (whom I'd been chatting with at the time) all burst into laughter simultaneously.

Even worse than that: People aren't afraid of me anymore. You get used to that as a jarhead. It's like "The sky is blue. Grass is green. Soldiers won't look you in the eye. Airmen cross the street to avoid you." And that's comforting. Now it's gone and replaced by this sickly deference.

One of my new supervisors is a former CWO from my old unit. I used to call him "Gunner' because, well, that's what you call them. Now he says "Call me Jake." As if it was that easy!

I have to wear something different. Every day. Cammies and boots every day were nice, with Charlies on Thursdays. Now I have to match button up shirts to slacks. Maybe a tie every few days. I didn't even own this stuff two weeks ago, I had to bankroll an entire wardrobe with my first paycheck just so I could look different the next week. People compliment me on my shoes, and I feel like less of a man.

My hair is shaggy, and I'm growing a beard. I couldn't even grow facial hair before I joined. I don't recognize the person in the mirror anymore but, my wife wants me to looke "less Marine-y." When the barber asked if I wanted my neck cut straight across or rounded off, I actually didn't know how to answer the question.

Also- Apparently it doesn't matter when I come into work, or what days I take off, so long as I work 40 hours a week. Also if I want to take a vacation, I just say so, and I can leave the next day if the urge overtakes me. I can talk directly to my boss if anything happens, and am encouraged to do so, without the use of 5 steps inbetween. I asked a manager what the "chain of command" was, and he stared at me blankly, and blinked twice.

How do you people do it? I don't think I'm ever going to get used to this, especially if I keep going to work and seeing all my Marines still being all "Marine-y" Anyone here have any pearls of wisdom?

[Ghryphen]

lol, give the man a 90 pound pack and he'll run 5 miles and then do 1000 push-ups and then run 5 miles back all in 2 minutes and be happy about it. Make him pick out a tie for the day and he turns into a slobbering mess

[Gambit]

I love having you around, Var. Has a great deal to do with your writing style, I think.

Your problem is the transition. You have had habits and a social structure ingrained into you during some prime developmental years, and now you aren't living with that any more. Like you didn't know any of that. Gimmie a Captain Obvious pin or something. The remainder here is just brainstorming and may have no validity whatsoever, so it oughta be worth what you paid me for it... There's plenty here that DO know from experience, too, but I gotta TRY. Sigh.

You will adapt. It's something humans do very well. How you adapt is up to you. Maybe you want to take things slow, and change a little bit at a time rather than have this big huge "transform into civvy" thing going. Some you can't help, obviously, but decisions about your clothes or hair or vacation, for example, you could take a "what if this were a covert operation" p.o.v. and just work on something that blends in. Or, if there's a decision to be made, how would you tell a green private to handle the situation? Or what would you be told by your CO if HE had to decide?

Over time you won't need that sort of mental exercise but it might help for a while. I imagine the deference thing will pass as you develop the new working relationship with your coworkers and unit. I'm really surprised at the reaction to the "chain of command" question; that's pretty basic even if you've had no direct military exposure. This dude works with military folks all the time. In corporation-speak, though, what you're looking for is the "org chart."

Rogue said to tell you that her uncle is a veteran Marine pilot from the Korean War, and he still feels most comfortable in a buzz. But then, I've never served, and so do I.

[Ghryphen]

Yeah I keep my hair buzzed as well, I like the whole not having to mess with hair style deal. Don't have to use hair products, never gets messed up, no time spent on it.

[Stikes]

I was in the marines, only 6 months tho. Still kinda seeps into you. It takes time and just finding yourself again. Who were you before you joined? what changed you? at the end, that's who you truly are.

as for the hair thing? forget it. I still can't figure out how the hell to wear my hair without wanting to shave my head

[Cerberus]

Haha

[Ghryphen]

Cerb wen't right back into slob mode, he had no problem adjusting

[Cerberus]

you dang skippy, one tidbit of wisdom for you is civilians, especially those that were never in the military don't respond well to the military method of direction. IE if you're in charge of a team or group of people you have to say crazy stuff like "please" and "would you" "could you" "thank you" "I appreciate your hard work" etc... Instead of just YOU, go over there and grab that and put it over there. etc... etc. etc.. It takes about a year or three to get used to it. And I always look marines in the eye when I walk by, but usually there is just a blank stare in there good thing you guys got officers heheh

[XMEN Ashaman DTM]

lol@Jester

Var: probably the best thing is just to do a self-check and try and relax. Keep your hair the same if you're comfortable in it, and it looks good. And you gotta realize that some things will just gradually transition. I actually prefer buzzing my hair, but haven't for quite a while now because of two things. One, I supposedly look meaner with shorter hair (WTF??); and two, I liked the attention I got from the ladies when I let it grow out a bit.

One other thing is that you've got to do something to help get the tension out. Exercise is probably the best thing.

It's kind of like when you go on a vacation, and it takes three or so days for you to truly unwind. Well, in this case, you've got to figure out how to "unwind". Being able to do that at will is a good thing to know for the rest of your life.

Oh and don't fall out of doing PT. It helps in the long run.
That's one mistake that my friend who was a Marine, started to make. Then he went out to do some exercise and realized he got fat. Heh. He does triathalons on the weekends now, but it helps him to focus (the routine part, and the physical activity).

[Ghryphen]

They are right, you do look meaner with shorter hair

[Variable]

I have to do a 5 year resubmit for my security clearance, and theres a "people who know you well" section where you fill in names and such and they go talk to them about you.

I'm tempted to put you all in the system, so the gubmint has to spend thousands of dollars flying all across this nation only to learn "man knew his turret defense, I tell you what."

[Ghryphen]

lol

[Cerberus]

LOL btw I still get a high and tight, I just let the top grow out.

[XMEN Ashaman DTM]

Yeah, Jester's going for the "mop" look.

Vari, if you do that, they'll just send the local investigator out. I've done it a couple of times now. Besides, I'm not sure how, "He watched my back well, and mowed down three people behind me as we were moving into the base to destroy the generators on Scarabrae". Or, "we dueled for quite a while, but I had to pee and he walked up behind me while I was being and I didn't know it until I got back from peeing." Then there's, "while we were dueling one time, I accidentally tossed a mortar round at his feet."

They'd look at me like, "WTF?" and I'd have my clearance revoked. lol

Is that an SSBI, or an SCI? Do you know?

[Ghryphen]

Look at my Asha pictures!