The Hounds of Zeus - View Single Post

Gambit · 11-15-2005, 04:17 PM

Yak,

Ouch. Sorry, dude. Lay it down, we're cool with sharing.

Since you asked for advice, I'll offer mine.

Feeling the way you do, you need to get out of that business with her. Buy her out, or have her buy you out, but you're not going to have a productive business relationship right now and the business world is very unsympathetic to personal issues. ("I don't care what happened last night, I want my product or my money back, NOW!")

That was easy. This is where it gets tough, so please bear with me.

I think you, like nearly everyone these days, are confused as to the definition of love. Unless you fully understand the difference between love and sex, you are doomed to failure at both. Love is not an emotion, it is a decision to stick with someone no matter what. It's a commitment to think of the other person first. It means you don't expect anything in return. The emotion we call "love" is more accurately labeled "infatuation" or often "lust." It's almost always centered on what we want, rather than what the other person wants, even if it's just wanting to be around them.
Because of the way we're built, sex affects us on three levels: physical (duh), emotional, and spiritual. It doesn't connect us on three levels, but it affects us. If it was just physical, you might as well be masturbating, eh? The emotional level is where most people start jumping in the sack. I don't think anyone will argue the point that emotions are, at best, unreliable. A short-term thing. So, without that spiritual connection and commitment, when one person stops feeling good, they're gone. Or worse, they stay but decide to get a little action on the side. In either case, it's because they want to or have convinced themselves they need to.

Please don't think I'm condemning you (or anyone else) here. I'm honestly trying to help you understand. I am one of the oldest people posting here and I've seen my share of relationships forged and broken. I've been married 13 years, my parents are not divorced, and my grandparents were all married until their spouses died. My experiences, both personal and observed, confirm the above, but I don't expect that you'll all believe me just because I say so; I can show you both scripture (1 Cor 13) and secular research that confirms these things as well.

I'm saying this because, though it doesn't help you much now, it might help you in the future. Once again, I'm sorry for the pain you're going through now.

11-15-2005, 04:17 PM	#3
Gambit Forum wh0re Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: DFW area, TX Posts: 744	Yak, Ouch. Sorry, dude. Lay it down, we're cool with sharing. Since you asked for advice, I'll offer mine. Feeling the way you do, you need to get out of that business with her. Buy her out, or have her buy you out, but you're not going to have a productive business relationship right now and the business world is very unsympathetic to personal issues. ("I don't care what happened last night, I want my product or my money back, NOW!") That was easy. This is where it gets tough, so please bear with me. I think you, like nearly everyone these days, are confused as to the definition of love. Unless you fully understand the difference between love and sex, you are doomed to failure at both. Love is not an emotion, it is a decision to stick with someone no matter what. It's a commitment to think of the other person first. It means you don't expect anything in return. The emotion we call "love" is more accurately labeled "infatuation" or often "lust." It's almost always centered on what we want, rather than what the other person wants, even if it's just wanting to be around them. Because of the way we're built, sex affects us on three levels: physical (duh), emotional, and spiritual. It doesn't connect us on three levels, but it affects us. If it was just physical, you might as well be masturbating, eh? The emotional level is where most people start jumping in the sack. I don't think anyone will argue the point that emotions are, at best, unreliable. A short-term thing. So, without that spiritual connection and commitment, when one person stops feeling good, they're gone. Or worse, they stay but decide to get a little action on the side. In either case, it's because they want to or have convinced themselves they need to. Please don't think I'm condemning you (or anyone else) here. I'm honestly trying to help you understand. I am one of the oldest people posting here and I've seen my share of relationships forged and broken. I've been married 13 years, my parents are not divorced, and my grandparents were all married until their spouses died. My experiences, both personal and observed, confirm the above, but I don't expect that you'll all believe me just because I say so; I can show you both scripture (1 Cor 13) and secular research that confirms these things as well. I'm saying this because, though it doesn't help you much now, it might help you in the future. Once again, I'm sorry for the pain you're going through now.